Hello folks, Grunt here, I feel it's time to reveal something rather personal and secret to you about my sexual orientation: I, The Grunt, am a bedosexual. There, I said it. Oh, how I feel liberated!!!
It seems that since I was a little tyke I would sneak long naps without my parents knowing. In school I'd drift off thinking of my bed and how lovely it would be if only I could sleep with it at that moment. At work it's a constant battle of desire vs. duty. I know that my bed is lonely and it never has a headache. But, I'm such a lousy lover.
My bed told me the other day that I don't spend that much time with it anymore. I apologized, but the bed just sat there looking hurt. One thing about my bed is that it's cool if I cheat on it. It knows I love it, and that's all that matters. All I have to so is change its sheets on a regular basis.
Sometimes, I just lay on the bed and do nothing; It doesn't even mind. Other times I'll bring in a book and read it, or sit on my bed and play my guitar. I also like to try different positions with my bed, you know, roll around a bit. But, I don't do anything sick. A bed is not a woman, and should not be used as such.
One of these days, I'm going to put another bed next to it and go crazy. I just can't get enough of bed, sometimes. Hmmmn? Well, I knew I could confide in you guys. I don't feel like such a freak now.
All of this talk has me thinking of getting some bed right now.
3 years ago