Monday, December 21, 2009

Stuffed stuff

I have so many cards to write. I am not a card person. I am not even good at giving gifts. My thing is to make people feel special on a daily basis by listening to them and offering my help. Maybe that isn't enough. This time of year makes me feel a bit inferior.

The situation with my brother in law has improved a bit. My sister wants him to recover, but she isn't sure if she wants him back. Over the past couple of weeks some major skeletons have come crawling out of his closet and it has been a huge deal for all of us to take in. I don't make any apology for my feelings of wishing that he'd passed at certain moments, thinking that my sister and her kids and family would be much better off. However, he is responsible for two things that I value a great deal: my niece and my nephew. There will always be that part of me that will love him for that. So, I have decided to give him a fair chance to change his life, at least from my dealings with him.

I'm really pissed off about this guitar neck that I bought off of Ebay. I finally got some time to work on this parts-o-caster project of mine and this neck that I got for a bargain turned out to be a massive shit stick. The truss rod--the thing that adjusts the neck relief--is stripped and I can't get rid of a bad fret buzz because of it. On the plus side, I now have an electric sitar. Oh well.

I was eating at a cafe on Ogden's infamous 25th street today. While it is now all done up as an urban attraction, it still is home to many a hobo. This cafe has these big, one-way front windows. A particularly fired up hobo put his face up to the window and started shouting all manner of profanities. The best part was that nobody was sitting in the section that he was tearing a new one to. I like a bit of entertainment when I dine.

I think you've had enough.

Wednesday, December 16, 2009

Beyond the looking glass and inside my magic underpants

Winter is a curious season for men. One step out makes you smaller, and a while back in the warmth makes you tall. I'd settle for something in between.

You spend all day working outside in the frosty winter air. Skip in for a pee break and the thought that your scrotum had sprouted a toadstool gives you a panic. It takes you a moment to realize that the hookah-smoking caterpillar was not able to be summoned from his lair. While it was disconcerting at first, you take comfort in knowing that no matter how big or small your caterpillar may be, I can always go pee.

The Wonderland doesn't stop there. You should see it when the Mad Hatter stops by for tea....Change places!

Sometimes you grow too big for your house and an appendage pops right out of the front door.

Playing chess with the queen...well, strategy is essential in checking your mate.

After all the adventure is done, there is still the Cheshire Cat grinning his grin from within. So pleased with the deed....You can take the smile from the cat, but not the cat from the smile!

Tuesday, December 08, 2009

A very random post (with updates at the bottom)

I want to start my own tribute band. I want to call it "My Morning Bowel Obstruction".

There's these identical twins from Mexico, one named Juan and the other is named Amal, that are attending university in the U.S. Because their family is very poor, the boys have to take turns visiting their family on the holidays every year. This year Juan came back home to visit during the holidays. His mother, while happy to see Juan, said, "I love both of my boys so much, but I really am sad that I do not get to see Amal. I miss him!" Juan, trying to console his emotional mother, said, "But mama, if you've seen Juan, you've seen Amal!"

You really need to say that one out loud in order to get it.

I have a coworker that has been telling me how much weight he's lost over the past three months. Every day it's, "I've lost forty pounds!" I am happy for him, but I am rather weary now of his constant bragging. So, today, when he started on his little kick about his weight loss "Man, I've lost forty pounds", I remarked, "What, since yesterday?" He didn't find this very amusing. However, I did and so did every one else in the room. That is all that matters.


The moving of my sister Bonnie's belongings from her apartment is finished. I had a lot of help and the move went well. We are storing it in my parent's storage unit for now. This was easier than I expected. I had thought that it would be hard emotionally to move all of her stuff out, but it gave me a feeling that I was helping her. Also, when all of the stuff was moved out, all that was left was an empty apartment--it was no longer that "place" that I had found her in such misery this past year.

My brother in law, Paul, had an accident at work on Monday. He was working on the roof of the convenience store that he manages and the ladder slipped on the ice as he was descending. He fell fifteen feet and landed on a cement Jersey barrier chest first. Monday he was listed as critical, but has since improved and is conscious. He broke all of his ribs; a rotator cuff; internal injuries to his liver, intestine, and kidney. His heart was unstable for awhile, but the doctors were able to get him to pull through. There was some good that came about all of this--provided he recovers--in that the doctors discovered that he has been a diabetic for some time and that he has cirrhosis of the liver from his "I'm not an alcoholic. I only have two beers (and all of that whiskey that nobody knows about) a week." drinking habit. You'd think that after having been a poll bearer for his sister in law, who died as a result of her alcohol addiction, would have had a wake up call then. Well, he is starting to realize that he needs to change his life and said that he will give up his drink and chewing tobacco.

Who said Mormons don't know how to have a good time?