Hands up, who here ate Milkbones as a kid? I can sure as shinola count myself in that select group. Why stop there, I think that I tried out a little of everything that my pets ate, even the damn fish food for crying out loud. I think that the worst thing that I ate was raw hamburger meat. I loved that stuff. The only bring down was getting a bad case of worms when I was four. I still remember the taste, though.
After those things, I developed a taste for boiled noodles and margarine. I think impacted bowels are a sign of sophistication and status, because most of those hoity-toity types are already full of shit, anyway. If it weren't for a couple of strategic enemas, administered by my poor mother, I'd probably be dead by now. I'm still waiting for a 25-year-old clump of pasta to pass. All of which brings me to this: Toddler Fear Factor. What would they eat?
Hell, a guy at work brought in his two-year-old boy to work the other day, and I must say, he's a cute guy. He even learned my name and kept repeating it. While the grownups were talking, this kid was playing on the floor. To our horror, this kid grabbed this hairy looking spider and stuck it right in his gob. His father rushed right over to his boy and proceeded to do the "doggy negotiator" routine, "Drop it, drop it. That's ca-ca, yuk! I'll give you some chips if you drop it." No luck, the kid had already masticated the former spider. We all felt a little grossed out. He did follow it up by pointing at me and repeating my name. Clever kid.
So, I'd like to hear stories from you about what gross things you've eaten as a kid, and/or have witnessed other kids eating. Don't spare any details.
4 years ago