I had to get my damn modeling clay! I thought of Walmart--too easy. Try harder, Grunt. There's a Dollar Store! I go in there and start checking out all the kids toys. For awhile I was doing fine, but then a lady comes down the aisle. For some reason, I start feeling stupid. I did this to myself. I mean, it's not like she knows one way or another that I don't have kids and that shouldn't matter. If I want a damn kid's toy, Imma gettin' it! And I found what I was looking for, some kind of off brand Play-Dough, two jar pack for a buck.
I took that one item up to the counter and I almost did the thing where you get a bunch of other items to somehow hide the thing that you really want to buy, say, condoms when you're a teen or tampons for your woman. I caught myself about to to do this, but then decided that I was being a total jabroni about it. I went right up to the counter, put my kiddie clay right up to the checker lady and said, "Just this, please." She gave me this look like, What the fuck are you buying this for? I sent her a psychic telegram that said, Because Play-Dough, that's what the fuck for! I think she totally got my telegram. Now don't bother me. I'm going to make rude sculptures with this stuff before I have to use it for what I needed it in the first place.