Friday, April 23, 2010

Just some shit

I once learned from a Cheech and Chong record that it might be possible to see God if you play Black Sabbath at 78 speed. Someone on Youtube was gracious to do something else with this old gem from Focus. I think it might summon the demon Santa Claus.

It's official! I am now a great uncle. But, I have come to this post unprepared. I have no pics to post. Anyhooter, his name is Corvin and is about the cutest little man I've ever seen. Details to come.

There was this coach that I had in junior high named Coach Downs. I feel bad that I don't remember his first name. I often wonder about this guy. What were his dreams outside of physical education? Did he ever want to be a famous writer, actor, politician, or, maybe, a singer? I can see him doing an album of Perry Como, Johnny Mathis, Tony Orlando, and Andy Williams covers, simply titled, "A Touch of Downs". He would have his hopes dashed when people fail to understand the witty athletic word play in the title--most of the public assume that he is just mildly retarded. The cruel irony is that he unwittingly becomes a celebrity out of pity because of his "condition", then soon after exposed by Oprah to be an imposter and not a 6'11" singing retard. Yes, these are the inner thoughts of a genius.

I bid you toodles.

Friday, April 16, 2010

Wa Me?

There's this Asian restaurant out in West Valley called Wa Me. Without fail, I succumb to my inner dork and shout "Ya You!" There is also an Asian supermarket near this place called Tay Do. I always imagine Buckweat as the greeter there.

Peter O'Toole, in the film The Ruling Class, said something to the effect that when he prayed he eventually realized that he was God because he was, in fact, talking to himself. If you like loony movies, that one is required watching.

I've been getting into some strange folk music from the late '60s-early '70s. I thought that I'd share a bit with you. This song is dedicated to Vera.

I wonder what kind of painting my blog friend Julie S. could interpret from this song.

Friday, April 09, 2010

Lactations from the heart

My dad turned 80 on Easter. I gave him a book for his present. The book is titled, "How We Die". Fortunately, he got the joke.

If I were a mad scientist I would like to genetically engineer a few things just for my own personal amusement. I think it would be pretty far out to mix a cat with a rabbit--a "cabbit", if you will. It would have the body and legs of a rabbit with the head, fur, and claws of a cat. The other animal would be a chimpanzee sporting a dog's head, personality, and coat. I think that many women would no longer desire to have offspring if such an abomination were to be conceived. Just think if your Labrador could come up to you and grab your hand while eating a jerky treat like a chimp would eat a banana? I think your ovaries would explode. The weird part for men would be that this creature would not only sniff your crotch or butt as a greeting, but would be holding your testicles or spreading your cheeks as it did so. Creepy.

Face it: Nutella is really just a fancy name for "chocolate nut butter".

That is all for now.

BTW, I had my two-year cancer free milestone today. It was made official with a rather extensive set of tests and exams. I barfed after having lunch because my anxiety level was so high. Lamb curry, Diet Coke, and tiramisu does not taste as good coming out as it does going in. Lunch was between my PET/CT scan, labs, and my physical exam with my oncologist. So, I was still in the dark at that point about my results. I wouldn't have been so wound up if my health didn't get off to a bad start this year with the bout of pneumonia that dogged me for so long. The symptoms were so similar in some ways that I had to really fight hard to keep my sanity in check. So, this big milestone was greeted with trepidation on my part, not knowing for sure if I had relapsed. I didn't: the scans were great and my overall health was good. I do need to work on a few things and my doctor is aware of the amount of physical and emotional strain that I've been through with my grief, so I was given a nice bit of counseling from her. I promised to cry "uncle" if things got too hard for me this time around. Maybe I can start having a life. I think I am allowed.