I was feeling flupie again. For an explanation of what "flupie" means, and to read (or re-read) a disturbingly funny post, go here. Anyway, I tried calling friends and family members in order to deflupify myself. I tried watching stupid comedy flicks, such as, Nacho Libre and Blades of Glory. I even busted out my guitar and played all the Black Sabbath riffs that I knew. Alas, nothing seemed to work.
It was around 11:30 PM that I had a toast craving hit me. I popped in my bread into the toaster the same way a man pops his _______ into his wife's ________ after thirty years of marriage. (Your homework assignment is to fill in the blanks using any other words besides the obvious choices and to leave them at the end of your comments here.) I went to the bathroom, read a piece about Chris Rock in Rolling Stone magazine, and came out after with clean hands to butter my toast. That is when the most amazing idea came to me: I should butter both sides of my toast!
You know what? I totally did that shit. It was good too. I think I could hear my heart scraping against my rib cage afterwards, but it was totally worth it. I didn't feel so flupie after that. I'm thinking of continuing doing strange new things, like playing spin the bottle all by myself. Well, maybe not that strange. I guess I could try truth or dare all by my self. Since I am in denial about certain things in my life it could actually help.
Aren't you all glad that you know me?
4 years ago