Tuesday, August 01, 2006

Two guys and a Savior: JW art, Ahoy!

Okay, I am not knocking Jehovah Witnesses, but as you may have seen from an earlier post I enjoy taking their unique artwork and giving my own version of events.

Here Jesus is saying to the thief: "I didn't know it would be this hot up here, but is is really freakin' hot! Mysakes!!! Did you think it would be this hot...and humid too? Also, is your diaper riding up your ass? Hell on a cucumber sandwich! God, why is the wind blowing sand in my eye? Do you really have to make it that much more uncomfortable for me?" (Inner dialogue) I need a Tab. I should just make one myself. Nah, that would just make everything worse. I don't want to die with people thinking I was a homo. No, here comes a centurion with a sponge. Bleh! That's freakin' vinegar, for Mysakes!!! I'll just turn it into Tab. Brilliant idea, J-boy!

The thief in the background is totally feeling left out. This is because he told an off color joke about lepers. This didn't quite sit too well with ole' J. That, and he had severe gas. Something about death makes one's GI tract get a little hyperactive.

The man in the foreground is just happy to be there and finally have someone to talk to.

15 comments:

Güggs said...

Does that "middle-man" look like Mel Gibson? Hey-Zeus = Mel??? I don't get it.

That or middle-man Mel says to guy on right, "This is how you suck your tummy in, sister. Trust me you get more fans this way, girlfriend." then disco music follows...*oot oot*

The Grunt said...

Guggs, you officially have a friend in Jesus for your brilliant contributions.

goldennib said...

Guggs: I thought he looked like Mel, too and they do look like they are posing.

Grunty: Why is Mel's diaper flap hanging down straight yet the other two's flaps are swining to the left?

vera said...

"Do you smell something funny??"

"Who order anchovies on this pizza???"

"So a guy walks into a bar..."

ba dum bum!

vera said...

ok, that was *REALLY* bad...
but i don't care!!!

Gentleman-hobbs said...

yo am just hangin homes!

Gentleman-hobbs said...

I bet JC is a bit pissed that big G and old Spooky have left him high and dry

Logophile said...

This is truly brilliant artwork, and clearly done by someone who has closely studied the account of events and attempted to faithfully recreate it.
Thank you so very, very much for sharing it with us.

The Grunt said...

"Always look on the brite side of life...*whisltes*"

Keep em coming!

If you are wondering, I have been saved already, and Jesus totally gets my humor.

Photogirl said...

What is happening in the sky? It looks like the aftermath of some nuclear disaster!

Mayden's Voyage said...

What is curious to me is that these men are being hung on posts, not crosses...

On the back of each post says-Grunt was here...

sorry :(

West of the Sun said...

That was brilliant.

Karyn said...

Officially giving up on this cup of coffee, as I have laughed so hard as to splash lap, dog and toddler with most recent mouthful while reading this.

And now I'm going to have that freaking "Always look on the BRIGHT-SIIIIDE OF LIFE!" *whistle whistle whistle* song stuck in my head when I drop Thing One off at Nursery School.

"Life's a piece of shit...when you look at it..."

Chris said...

Hey Grunt,
Long time no...

Hey, not to be a buzzkill on what would otherwise have been a fabulous post, as a JW I can answer the question that Mayden's Voyage poses on why Jesus and these criminals were hung on stakes in this picture. The Christian Greek scripture uses the word "stauros" instead of the later Latin used word "crux". In Greek, stauros refers to a stake or a tree and never refers to a torture device that had a cross beam. That's why he is depicted this way in our literature.
Regards,
Chris

The Grunt said...

That's not a buzzkill at all, Chris. I knew that was the reason. I have had some nasty run ins with some Jehovah Witnesses and some positive ones. I just hope that you'll stick around to see that I am not just picking on you guys. Religious art is so tricky. It's hard not to let some of your culture influence it. So, be that as it may, maybe I'm just a bit silly and will be struck down for my humor.