Thursday, August 31, 2006

TIGF!!! (That's Incredibly Gay Friday): Magnum P.I. is so moustachey and wet!



I don't know about you, but this is totally worth being a transient prison picnic punk! Though I am a straight man, I must say that I have deep gay feelings for chest hair, short shorts, and uber macho 'staches. Really, I just want him for his Ferrari.

Say what you will about Magnum, he still has nothing on this guy:

That's right, Hot Mo' Jesus, y'all. Yeah, Magnum and Jesus are so getting into danger and solving mysteries together, and driving fast cars. Jesus cheats just a bit. You aren't supposed to use miracles: it's in the crime fighter's hand book. But, all the women want them, and the men are dying to be like them--one more so than the other. I hear that Kool-Aide is pretty cheap still, but don't actually drink it at the "social". Pssst...it's a trick!

I'm keeeding....Golly-gosh and darn it!!!



17 comments:

Logophile said...

I am so confused, I used to totally dig Magnum, does that make me gay??

West of the Sun said...

LOL I LOVE THAT. You rock.

Scott said...

That is pretty effin gay...haha.

Scott

Clearlykels said...

Umm-- short shorts on guys make me nervous. There is just something inherently wrong about them.

Christielli said...

Does it mean that I'm gay if I find Magnum extremely unattractive?

LindzyPinzy said...

hahahahah getting into danger and solving mysteries together!hahahahahahahaha they SURE would be an AWEsome pair!

Photogirl said...

Oh yeah, now there's a wicked sweet crime fighting team!

That first photo is priceless. I wonder if he was saying "take this fucking cheese-ass photo before I come over there and kick your ridiculous marketing fools asses" through his clenched teeth?

The Grunt said...

Logo~ Everything is gay on TIGF day! Even your toaster is gay, that slut. I bet it even does pumpernickle, for heaven's sake!!!

Wots~ I do rock, and it is a glorious thing.

Scott~ Being men of hetero persuasion, we ought see the value of such gaiety. For, it is through this appreciation that we strengthen our own sense of identity, gain strength in it, and are better able to not act like total jack asses in public. Heh-heh, and it funny too...heh!

Kels~ I feel your nervousness because I was let down twice by men in short shorts. John and Karl, you guys let me down big time. Jordan, Rodman, Kerr, Pippen, referee Dick Bavetta: I hate you. *sniff* I hate all your guts.

Christielli~ It only means you're gay if you want it to. Come on and feel the moustache!

Lindzy~ See, you like it. Why did CBS have to turn down my idea for a buddy cop show, "J-Magnum: Special Stud Unit"? I just don't get it. I don't get it at all, dammit!

Celeste~ You are very perceptive. I think that when I reach my fitness goals this year, I'll be doing some "Grunt Ahoy!" beefcake shots. Uh, maybe not such a good idea.

Ernie said...

Do u think Magnum will father my Babies. (Do you think that magnum CAN still father may babies may be the real question...)

The Grunt said...

Ernie, with that moustache I think anything is possible. It is my quest to capture the Magnum moustache and keep it in my wallet. Oh, the powers I'll have....Bwahahahahahahahaha!

Photogirl said...

And Angelina Jolie will come after you to retrieve and destroy the "mystical moustache"....the rest I will leave to your imagination...

The Grunt said...

Celeste, I'm so pitching that script to Dreamworks.

Güggs said...

that's one skinny hose, Magnum.

What a misnomer!

blog Portland said...

Can Jesus make his Ferrari drive on water?

Moderator said...

I put up with you calling Hugh Hefner and me and other guys who wear smoking jackets gay but I CANNOT allow you to disparage Magnum. For one thing, that's the size condoms I use and for two thing, he has had more vaginas than the NYC Planned Parenthood headquarters.

P.S. That joke was the best I could do on short notice. I am that flustered about you calling Magnum gay. Since I am myself a F1 race car driver who solves mysteries on TV, I take that to heart.

The Grunt said...

Guggs~ Magnum is just so manly that he makes any hose look skinny in comparison.

Blog Portland~ These are important doctrinal questions. I am glad to have a person like you here around. I'm thinking that if Jesus did, it would be totally freakin' awesome, and all the girls would take their tops off. So, yeah, that's prolly why he doesn't do that much.

Cash~ It's all a ruse to get more of the womens! Relax, and take some time smoking one of your Cubans while watching A-Team reruns. They are not even on the same solar system as gay.

Melliferous Pants said...

I had such a crush on Magnum when I was little. Same with The Hoffer.

Have you read the Christopher Moore book "Lamb"? I think it'd be right up your alley.