Tuesday, August 29, 2006

The essential quest of any alien

Come to think of it, I go through this every day. Both can be desperate and pathetic, or hopefully become a rather worthwhile and pleasant journey. Sometimes you have the moments where you wonder if you have any friends. We all know rationally that this way of thinking is silly, but sometimes that is such a real feeling.

Sometimes your old friends get too run of the mill, or you get too comfortable with them, that you just touch base once a month, or longer. They're doing their thing and you are doing yours (hopefully). Maybe it is good that you can go that long without talking to them--a sign of security. But, they have somehow fallen from your daily or weekly routine. I really wonder if you could go back from this to the way it was. Maybe it can be something better than before. Yes, I think it can!

Sometimes you make new friends: It is real fun and intense with each other, then somewhere along the line things change and you re-categorize them, either an upgrade or a downgrade. It always sucks to get the demotion. Is that for reasons that you didn't beat them to the punch, or is it like some quasi rejection? I don't know. I don't think that this has happened to me recently, but I have been wondering about it a bit. Anytime you have developing friendships, I think you go through periods of insecurity and adjustment. I know about the adjustment part, and it is good, so long as there is effort to improve the bond. You have to adjust or perish. I adjust and I do not quit, so long as I feel that it is worth it. Yes, it is worth it!

So, I add my bit to the comic, "Duh, must keep the friends I have! Duh, go out to eat food with them!! Duh, must understand new friend's challenges and feelings!!! Duh, not give up!!!!"

Duh....what wisdom you alls got, eh?

14 comments:

Logophile said...

Don't shit on em!
Not the new ones or the old ones,
they don't like it.

Clearlykels said...

Friends are fabulous. I do not know what I would do without them. I know that I would not laugh as often. Laughing is key!

Chris said...

Relationships are like plants. They love attention. No attention, they die.

I remember when I got my first friend. Why it was just last week. I got tired of him quickly and said I needed my space. He said I should stop coming through the drive thru if I felt that way.

Scott said...

I think the thing about friends is that you can't dump then when some short term thing comes along that is more exciting. You have to stay engaged in it all the time, even if it is just a quick phone call here and there and the like.

Scott

The Grunt said...

Logo~ Great advice. I must say that it is hard to get your friend to sit still long enough for me to accomplish that. Why won't you just sit still and let me try new things, gosh!

Kels~ You and I both. If I have a friend who makes me laugh and laughs at my dumb jokes, then I feel golden.

Chris~ You just need to go fake a car breakdown at the drive thru window. They have to talk to you longer then. BTW, what you said is true.

Scott~ What did you say? I was distracted by a something more interesting and shiny.

See, people, just did that thing that Scott talked about. Yeah, that totally sucks, doesn't it? I won't do it again, buddy....boobies? Sorry, but that doesn't count.

The Grunt said...

Scott, I left one thing out to add to what you said, you can over water a plant. So, balance is good. I just keep falling off that damn tight rope, but I am back up trying to walk it again.

Sun Follower said...

How about the oldest friend adage of all:

"Make new friends but keep thee old, one is silver and the other gold."

Kinda corny - but makes sense, right?

Then there's always "auld lange syne"... :)

Photogirl said...

My favorite friend quote:
"Men come and go, but friends are forever." That may not apply in your case.

West of the Sun said...

I'm not sure I hve much advice that you haven't already gotten. Most of my friends are either the kind that even if we've spent months not talking we click right back into place when we touch base again. or the ones that sustain me (and for whom I hopefully offer some sustainment) on a regular basis. I dont' have a ton, nor do I want a ton. I just love the ones I have and tell them so.

But I'm a girl, so that might be a TIGF moment for you, eh? ;)

Melliferous Pants said...

It appears that so much good advice has been given I don't have anything to say...except, my cat can eat a whole watermelon.

Christielli said...

The thing that I've found about many friendships as I've gotten older or perhaps as the friendships themselves have gotten older is that they require less water. I find I do not talk to my friends as often as I used to, but the friendships are still strong. I think it's 'cuz when we became friends we were in the same place (high school, university, etc.) and now we can't spend as much time together, not 'cuz we don't want to, but because we're not in the same place any more.

However, I've found that a lot of the time, I don't see my pals until an "occasion" like a bday whatever, and I'm constantly vowing to initiate more spontaneous get togethers.

vera said...

i kill plants

The Grunt said...

Sun~ It's been a long time since I've heard that one. It is a good one. I do have some old, gold blood brother friends. With the new silver, I'm trying my hand at the ancient art of alchemy. Hey, found my new post title! Thanks!!!

Celeste~Yeah, I'm thinking that the "men come and go" part is something that I'll need to adjust accordingly;) It's not like the women are coming and going. I mean, they really could be right now. But, it seems that I'm in that stage where I'm wearing my jumpsuit getting warmed up and ready for the big race. My odds aren't great, but I am a dark horse all the way.

Wots~ You are so TIGF and I love it! BTW, what do you dream about there in your avatar bed, looking all Amelie like? I bet it's something good.

Pants~ One of these days we're going to have to verify that claim of yours:D

Christielli~My college friends were all fellow older (mid/late twenties) commuters, so it was all "hi" and "bye". I went to a good university, but it really had a dire campus atmosphere. However, I am seeing a friend for the first time in three years this weekend. He and I go waaaaaay back--like second grade--and we have spent more time in detention together than some people have been married. It's going to be real cool.

Vera~ Behave. We all know that being a vegatarian can eventually turn you violent. Take it out on something inanimate for goodness sakes;)

Jesus~ I just wanted to let you know that our talk tonight was good. It seems you've got way too much work to do and a whole host of other things on your plate. I mean, let the doctors take care of the lepers; they are capable now. See, you didn't even get to die properly. The minute that you get to lie down for a bit, they are making you roll out of your tomb and ressurect yourself back up to the home office to catch up on paper work. That one annoying British arch angel keeps piling more shit on your desk and doing some pretty devious stuff. I think he needs a transfer to somewhere warm, hot even.

About five dozen of ya are totally confused right now, and two other people are laughing their asses off. It's what I do.

LindzyPinzy said...

I have awesome friends who are all longterm friends. I find it hard to meet new people to hang out with... Im always used to meeting friends through friends.

But all my friends and us have been moving around and doing different things. We still are great friends but I don't live close to any of them really. So we have to plan things. Its not the same.

But I definatly appreciate my good friends and will always have them even if we don't see eachother every week.