Monday, August 07, 2006

Got my X-rays back and it explains a hell of a lot

You know, I just thought this was normal: Every time I'd clean the pipes, I could hear pins getting knocked down and club night cheers. It all makes sense to me now.

Another thing, being nice just doesn't cut it. I am the nicest guy that I am aware of, but don't ever underestimate me. From all the crap I've had to deal with in my life, it was essential to have grown a massive sack. Reminds me of an AC/DC song, "She's Got Big Balls".


So, how big are your balls? We are talking metaphorically here, folks. I do not want anymore emails from dudes in far off and not so far off lands with their windsocks and truffle bags making first contact with my beautiful blues. I might have to unleash the wonder twin powers on you (my big hand, and Chica's pinching toes of fury). I'm sure the rest of my crew here have Superfriend powers that they'd like to unleash upon you too.

So, commenters, tell me how big they are and then share with us your super powers. Then, I want to know how your super powers can be utilized in the Grunt Army! You know, to serve and to protect me, Grunty.

If you are looking for my wiener, it is airbrushed out. I'm not a perv...gosh!

16 comments:

vera said...

Mine are detachable and they're effin 'uge!!! I ordered them special... just for moi.
Hey... a girl needs to know when it's time to put her balls away and allow a man to take over... Even if she is more than 100% capable of taking care of herself, we need to step back and allow a man to do what he was meant to do... kill spiders and move heavy objects... :))))
I have MANY superpowers, Grunty!! I will reveal one...
I have the power of...
DUNDUNDUNNNN
Deduction...

V

Chris said...

I thought this was an X-Ray of Pamela Anderson's chest!

Cash said...

My ability to kill ninjas from a hundred yards away by being totally sweet is awesome.

The Grunt said...

I appreciate the powers of deduction, Vera. But, I would rather have the full onslaught of your accounting talents at the disposal of Gruntonia.

Chris~You can be there to explain why the Bible says what it says. Then our enemies will perish from stroking their beards too much.

Cash~Your abilities of being totally sweet will aide Gruntonia with it's awesome stealth. Just remember that a ninja can be leathal just by thinking about being totally sweet.

How come no one else is joining in? I'm dissapointed. And to think I had another pornographic post about electronics coming up. Sheesh!

vera said...

your impatience is a virtue

Gentleman-hobbs said...

Have you been bowling or have you folded up a couple of genetically modified women and swallowed them whole. Either way it looks like fun.

goldennib said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
goldennib said...

I could kill you with the dread Silent Treatment.

Wouldn't an air brush just make it fuzzy?

And the deleted comment was just me not being able to type worth a damn.

Photogirl said...

nice balls.

I have a look that would kill. Or so I'm told. Will that work?

Logophile said...

My secret super powers;
writing obscure quizzes and
jumping to conclusions at the speed of sound.

Karyn said...

Let's see. What kinda balls are bigger than like...Ping Pong balls but smaller and less ... um... bodacious, than bowling balls? Tennis balls maybe? Or - maybe CROQUET balls. Yeah! Croquet balls.

My super power? I hypnotize people with my crazy ass hair and accomplish all manner of madness while they drool in their subconscious stupor.

Does that count?

A Suicide Blonde said...

I don't have "balls", I have a "kitty" :)
And she has the greater power- let me assure you! :)

Karyn said...

Well yeah - a kitty, of course. But we were talking figuratively - no? Because really, I swear, my balls, (croquet and otherwise) are totally figurative.

markis said...

oh, i thought your dick was that huge gap between the balls, i mean bowling balls.

The Grunt said...

test

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