I kept falling today so I just decided to put in all the psychedelic music I could into my CD player and lay in bed, either sleeping or staring at the wall while on painkillers. I watched the 1977 William Friedkin (the guy who did "The Exorcist") film "Sorcerer", which was a remake of an earlier French film and novel, "Le Salaire de la Peur" (The Wages of Fear). That is one trippy and suspenseful flick. The soundtrack by Tangerine Dream was perfect for my mood today.
Monday was made "golden brown" by a narcotic happy anesthesiologist. My surgery was scheduled for 6:30 AM and things got behind, so it didn't happen until 9:30 AM. In the meantime, my "Ani" figured out how to shape my mood for the delay using some opiates injected into my veins. Boy howdy, did I ever feel brown. I had one moment of extreme sweating, then it was all "bang bang, shoot shoot". We hadn't even got to the real anesthesia yet.
The operation to place my porta-catheter was successful. I was put down to a level of semi-consciousness, but I did not feel a thing. The way I look now is like I've just been shot twice in the chest, then given an alien implant. I can remember the shoving/tugging weirdness of the device being forced under my skin, yet over my muscle and bone. It really didn't bother me much, to be honest.
I went home and slept. I got up and decided to go to the Rush concert no matter what. I had GA tickets with my brother. This amphitheater has reserved seating near the stage, then a large grassy hill behind it. I just picked a soft spot in the hay away from the crowd and laid there watching the show. It was great. Rush didn't play "Working Man", "By-Tor", or "2112", but they did play their new stuff and it was really good. It was nice because I got to hear stuff that they normally don't play live. Since I see Rush every time they hit town it is nice to have a change.
Today I am happy to be coming down, but it has left me weak, as I've said. I don't know how much visiting I will get done tonight because I need my rest. I have my TIGF planned and I think I will not post until then. For now, I will try and visit you all when I feel up to it.
Oh, I want to come up with some T-shirts to sell on here. I need the money to build up my war chest again and this is one of the ways I figure I can do it without feeling a charity case. I had a good amount of savings before all of this started and will get through. However.......
You see, it hasn't only been my health this Summer: my main computer was ruined; my vehicle has required over $2,000 worth of repairs; my 20-year-old niece has divorced and has chosen many self-destructive paths since (including cops finding her passed out and beaten up behind a dumpster and now is under 90 pounds). Honestly, it has been hard all over for me and my family. I have never questioned why during all of this. I just ask, "What shall I do now?" This t-shirt stuff is part of what I want to do, even if it just is for a few people.
I am not asking for anything. This is just what I want to try. I'm also trying to sell off a couple of guitar amps, but you'd need to be local in order to not have shipping be crazy. I think I can get homes for those no problem. I have total faith that I will get through all of this. It's just that I can't stop wondering if some rich white guys, that call themselves Mortimer and Randolph, have made a one-dollar bet on me in some way. A free CD goes to the first person who can say what movie that is from.
3 years ago