Thursday, August 02, 2007

TIGF!!! (That's Incredibly Gay Friday): Calvin's Urinary Habits

It seems like he will piss on anything nowadays. Ever since he lost his job in the daily comics he's hit the equivalent of a child actor doing Celebrity Fit Club.

He's taken his penchant for pissing to extreme levels now. I've heard that he even pissed on the Archbishop Desmond Tutu's silk robe. Dodge, Chevy, Ford, Tutu? This is madness, I say! What will be next, Pat Tillman's image wrapped in an American Flag?

Who knows what's next. When will all his mischief end? All I know is that it really is a demonstration of one's product loyalty and validation of their sense of humor if you put the image of Calvin pissing on whatever it is you don't like. I happen to not like the Smith family down the street from me. Why can't I hire Calvin to go and piss on them while I take photos? Maybe it is all done in photoshop now. There is always something getting in the way of a purely visceral experience with all this technology. Anyway, maybe Calvin and Hobbes could do a porno together full of golden showers and daring wagon rides down treacherous hills--naked, of course. I wonder if Bill Waterson has run out of money yet.


Jules said...

I was going to say that Calvin's obsession stems from just wanting people to see his *privates* in public, but you kind of beat me to it when you mentioned the whole prono thing.

Seriously? Did you just suggest beastiality? ;OP

Scary Monster said...

It be a guy thang.
Iffin ya can't beat it up, fuck it or have it fer yer own; Than you just piss on it and mark it as if ya could.


Outdoorsy Girl said...

That would be so awesome if you could hire Calvin to piss on people you don't like. But with my list, I'm not so sure that I would be able to afford all the super-sized big gulp drinks for Calvin to take care of it. But maybe I could settle for some Calvin pissing stickers and sneak up on them and put it on their backs! That would be very incredibly gay-- and FUN!

Logophile said...

How much would you pay me to piss on the Smiths?
Not that I'm offering, just, ya know, I was curious.

goldennib said...

I have always read alot and as a child I read things I shouldn't have. When I was 14 I read a pirate novel that had lots of sex scenes in it, including a pirate who captured the heroine and insisted she participate in a threesome that included golden showers. If my parents only knew.

EBEZP said...

Golden showers, beastiality this site is becoming NSFW. Great isn't it?

The Grunt said...

Jules~ I call them like I see them. They are a bunch of furbies.

Scary~ HAHA, I can remember something about pissing on a dolphin in an earlier post. This is a disturbing theme I've got going here.

O-Girl~ Crannberry Juice helps.

Logo~ $3.50

Nessa~ That's some pirate novel. I don't even think I had that level of graphic sex play described in the Penthouses that I looked at as a kid. It's probably because I didn't read any of the articles.

Ebezp~ This is something of a saying of mine: Get yer head outta the mine can float on by.

Photogirl said...

I wish I could hire Calvin to pee on my neighbour too! She's a total strata nazi bitch.

blog Portland said...

The best one of these I ever saw showed Calvin pissing onto "Bill Watterson's Legacy."