Sunday, May 20, 2007

Call me Lord McNot Midas Man

Everything I touch lately turns into a giant brick of crap. Can you feel the frustration, the disappointment? I knew you could, neighbor.

There's not a whole lot I can do about it except keep plodding along until the odds are back in my favor. But, I'm not stupid; this ain't no time for me to go sky diving or try to fix the brakes. I watched "The Sopranos" and I managed to not screw that up. Maybe there is still hope for me yet.

I want to distance myself from the events of the past 48 hours--just forget about it. These weren't life or death events, just shit; you know, the kind that happens. It just seems to originate from my hand is all.

If I were a crew member of the U.S.S. Enterprise sending off Spock's casket (Wrath of Kahn), I think I would have messed that up somehow and totally desecrated his corpse by accidentally photon torpedoing his peacefully floating casket, mistaking it for a Klingon escape pod. Trekkies, feel free to suck my big toes if any of that Star Trek stuff was inaccurate. Hey, things are looking up already. I'm getting my toes sucked tonight!

Yes, you may call me by my new name. What new name is that? Title, baby, read the title.


SM said...

Lord Mc Not Midas. When everything turns to shit, even iffin it be for a short time, there be some rules that you just gotta follow.

Stay away from the kitchen: Order large pizzas and live of them fer a while.

Don't have unprotected sex. In fact dont have sex at all, you might yer dingus stuck in the zipper.

Leave the guitars alone Too Precious.

Don't rent any movies. The one you want to see is taken already.

Never try to suck yer own toes.

Do go to work- The hex may just rub off onto someone there that you don't like very much.

When you do get yer Mojo back, go out and make up for lost time.


goldennib said...

I was sitting at a traffic light this morning while on my way to work, looking at the lovely blue, clear sky and feeling the breeze waft through my hair, when, WHOOMP, I was hit in the ass by a truck. Is that right, I ask you, is it? Other than having my good mood, once again, bludgeoned out of me, I'm just fine, thanks for asking. Huh? We were talking about you? Oh, sorry. I hope things look up for you soon; D

Claire said...

Dude. Take it easy. Stay in bed. With pizza. And beer?


Karyn said...

Seriously! Can we chalk it up to planetary alignment or some damn thing? I am enduring the same affliction and would like to get under a blanket... refusing to emerge until the shit storm passeth. Sound about right?

Oh yeah.

Scott said...

I think that there was the transit of Venus happening or something like that.

Outdoorsy Girl said...

Lord McNot Midas Man...

The odds shall soon enough be in your favor again. Clyde is just being old and grumpy. He loves you and will not let you down in the end.

Until then, though, I suggest you be careful even watching the tube.

Keshi said...

mebbe I should deliver u some pizzas Grunty? :)


Jules said...

Mmmmm.... good toes, Lord McNot!!

The Grunt said...

SM~ Those are some wise words. I will definitely not try to suck my own toes.

Nessa~ We got down to the bottom of this one, and let's just say that I am happy that they were able to save your leg.

Claire~ And if you lived close by you'd come over and watch TV with me?

Karyn~ You get me.

Scott~ Right on the nose!

O-Girl~ Thanks for the encouragement. I need it.

Keshi~ You know I'd love that.

Jules~ If I only had a dime for every time I've heard that phrase.

goldennib said...

Grunty, you're silly;D