Red Foreman here, dumbass! Why in the hell I let Kitty talk me into this gawdamn thing is beyond me. Well, I'm in no mood to be talking to any dumbasses or commie bastards, either!
You've seen my little girl's, er, Eric's friends: dumbasses! The one thing I can't stand is long hair. Long hair makes me want to vomit on your bullet ridden commie corpse. Why are you so full of holes, dumbass? Because you piss me off, you damn hippy!
The Army shouldn't have let me keep my grease gun, or my M1 carbine for that matter. Eh, my Colt 45, too. Why the hell are all you hippies wanting to take my guns, anyway? Next thing you'll be wanting me to stop eating bacon. That makes me want to put my foot up your ass! That's another thing that having long hair makes me want to do!!!
Oh, another thing, why can't we just give all men crew cuts? This is the hair style that Moses surely would have had if it weren't for those dumbass Egyptians. I can tell you hippies this, there would be no wandering around for forty years in the desert if just one of those dumbasses had a decent haircut!
So, dumbasses, I will personally put my foot up your ass if I catch you growing your hair. Girls, you are excluded from this. But don't dare let me catch you burning your bra *shudder*. Thanks, Gloria--damn commie. I'd put my foot up your ass, but it would slip, and I don't want to go fishing for that wing tip!
Well? Get the hell outta my garage, crimeny!
4 years ago