A man needs an ambassador to coach

Harold here is making a statement. His mother made him get rid of his old hearse and bought him a brand new (at the time) Jaguar. Harold just wasn't having it, so he fired up his hot wrench and started to coach it Goth style, 'cause that's how he rolls, see? This move did prove to get him some choice feline, if you get my aquatic motation. Now all the fools on the block say, "Damn, boy! Yo whip is all coached out y'all. Who's the fine woman of maturity in dere witchu?" You know you just waved your hands in the air with an attitude of ease and joyous exuberance. Just go with it.

So, this leads me to this:
Yeah, I have Clyde as my personal ambassador to all things that kick ass. I just got done getting out of a bog and some snow drifts (July 2006). Yeah, I know I look like a total hick. Don't be hating! I was on a fishing trip, so it's appropriate attire for the occasion.

This truck turns 29 this November. He was manufactured in November 1977, and is a 1978 K20 Heavy Duty 4x4. I could go into all the details ad nauseum, but I will consider my vast female readership and spare you the gushing. I bought him from my clueless brother in law, who bought it from the original owner: an old man who only put 70k on the odometer. I got it with 78k for 1.2k. It was all sorts of messed up though, body wise, and the mechanics were in need of attention. I welded in new floorboards, rocker panels, cab corners; replaced the front clip and driver's side door. I must admit that I was bitten by that junk yard dog.

I did get Clyde all gussied up and tried out a pretty trick galvanizing process on the bare metal with molten zinc and compressed air, before paint was shot. That was six years ago. Only the untreated areas are starting to blister. Pretty impressive, considering how much salt is used on the roads here in the Winter. The old 350 is getting tired now and I'm looking into getting a stroked 415-427 ci. small block, in order to get some serious power in a lightweight, fuel efficient package. I've got a kid that I helped out, while his dad up and left them, who is now an ASE certified mechanic (the kid), that is willing to give me the hook up. He was giving me ideas on direct port fuel injection retrofits, how to set it up for ethanol, and said he could do the programming for me. I see what I want and it is only just a matter of this: $$$.

Why not buy a new truck? Well, I love all trucks, to tell you the truth. It's just that Clyde and I have been to so many places--not to mention that it is just plain erotic fun to take a well endowed woman for a ride in him, bouncy, bouncy! Seriously, just look at this pic:
This pic was made possible because of Clyde. That trail had an abandoned Explorer and only some ATV riders were braving the muddy clay. We are talking seven miles of mud, snow drifts, hills, and deep ruts. Oh, and don't forget the deep water crossings--those are the best! All of this, so I could make a dirty snowman on top of a crest at 8,000+ feet above sea level. Just how gnarly were the ruts? Well, one of my tires is now a white wall and I hit a log that put a nice dent in my gas tank. To think that this really is just medium level wheeling gives you an idea of how many people really don't need such vehicles, because they never actually put them through the paces. I must stress that this kind of use of a vehicle sometimes results in carnage, to you and your ride, so be careful.

So, anybody wanna hop in Clyde with me? I'm thinking of having a snowball fight. I think most of you can all cram in the bed, but respect others' need for privacy: Sexy touching is only allowed if you sing the Rice a Roni jingle while holding your tongue. Try it; it's fun!

Okay, I'm tired. Nanight!