Thursday, April 17, 2008

I'm placing it all on this

Today was hard. I am feeling better, though. I didn't want to get out of bed today--just pop a bunch of left over Lortabs and bliss out. That was a real plan and would have sent me on a bad journey. My night was sleepless. I soldiered on, however. What else can I do? Work was a bitch. Somebody on our crew up and quit today and my closest co-worker's mother just got diagnosed with cancer in her liver and rectum. Cancer blows big chunks of crap. Despite all of this, I turned it all around and made it through the day feeling like I am heading towards a good place.

I feel that I will get through this. Despite suffering the emotional trauma of certain possibilities, I am pulling it all together and readying myself for any outcome. However, I am placing my money on scar tissue and not cancer. Thanks for standing by me.

19 comments:

Autumn Storm said...

Bear hugs, Grunt. That you are able to find a good place to hold up by the end of whatever a day brings your way is what is going to get you through your days come what may, talking here of fears and doubts and thoughts of what if, investing in the outcome that it is scar tissue, and count me in for a big ole pile also, with all your energies headed down that road, that's a significant part of the journey there to be crossed off already. The mind is a wondrous thing. Standing along side you eyes on the focal point, and with the many people who visit you here doing the same, as you know they will, that's a lot of power.

Julie Schuler said...

Cancer blows big chunks of crap. Indeed.

OLED said...

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The Grunt said...

Autumn~ Thanks for being here for me. I need all the power I can get.

Julie~ Big green chunks of crap.

OLED~ I always dreamed of making friends with a robot.

Tys on Ice said...

man, just hang in there...it will be nothing...

NYD said...

I don't know what to say, my friend.
All I can do is to send all the good vibes I can through the net and across the sea towards you.

Call me stupid, but I do my best to avoid any and all negative vibes.

Play the music you love best at a volume that might cause your eardrums to rupture and bleed.

Always makes me happy and pisses off the neighbors.

(I'm not tryin to be funny here)

NYD said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Karyn said...

Can you be strong and optimistic and hopeful and head towards good things in the good place with a good attitude and STILL bliss out on Lortab? I'd be okay with that.

Catch the wave of hugs coming to you from the east -

Autumn Storm said...

Hope you have a nice Sunday, xo

Jules said...

it's not just with the birds you share the view, we're all in it looking and working through it all with you!

The Grunt said...

Tys~ Thanks, man!

NYD~ I've been doing that volume therapy thing. It helps. The positive vibe thing works too.

Karyn~ I'm going to try to get my doctors to prescribe me some medicinal marijuana. Party at my place?

Autumn~ You too! Thanks for the hugs and kisses.

Jules~ Waxing poetic for my benefit? I like that.

Keshi said...

*MWAH*

Keshi.

Clearlykels said...

Im sorry you had a bad day!

Clearlykels said...

Im sorry you had a bad day!

Clearlykels said...

Im sorry you had a bad day!

egan said...

Despite all of this, you still have a chin up attitude. I think this speaks volumes about you. Soldier on friend!

Diane Mandy said...

You are an amazing spirit!

The Grunt said...

Keshi~ Thanks for the kissie!

Kels~ Well, you just made it a lot better.

Egan~ I seem to be at my best when things are at their worst. I need to work on just being damn good and having things be chill.

Diane~ That means a lot because you need to have a strong spirit to survive this kind of thing with your sanity intact.

Karyn said...

"Karyn~ I'm going to try to get my doctors to prescribe me some medicinal marijuana. Party at my place?"

What the hell - first time for everything - I'm game! (And no, that doesn't mean you can shoot me.)