A post from another defunct blog of mine while preparing memes

I've been tagged by two lovely women. I'm working on those posts. To help you with your withdrawals I will paste a post from another defunct blog of mine "Sofa Cushion Childhood". It was an attempt to have a blog where my 3-D crowd could join in and I wouldn't swear like a psoriasis plagued fiberglass laborer. I went by my given name, which most of you know by now, and even had a, gasp, real profile picture of me. I had a few people at work read it, laugh, then go back to drinking their hot coco. I should have ended each post with, "Git'r'done" then it would have been more on their level.


How To Survive Between Pets

Get a slinky. There. Done. Simple!

Okay, I know you already think I've got taffy for brains, but hang with me a sec, alright? I gave my slinky a name: Ralph. Why Ralph, you ask? Well, just look at him. Doesn't he look like a Ralph? He does to me and as long as I'm happy that is all that matters.

Ralph still doesn't obey commands. Um, that's not true; he can sit, stay, play dead, and roll over...with some help. Really, though, what Ralph needs is a pair of googley eyes and a felt tongue. You know, that really would help people warm up to him and it just might help me pick up women down at the park.

I might have to change which park I've been going to. The last lady that found Ralph and I a hot item turned out to be an undercover cop dressed as a gypsy hobo. Is there such a thing as a gypsy hobo? Well, that's what she looked like to me. Come to think of it, I don't think that was a cop at all. No wonder why that pat down was a bit peculiar. Why must I be so trusting?