Something weird happened to me today. I got out a photo album and was looking at pictures of me and my buddies on a mountain bike trip. About two hours after that I get a call from one of those buddies. I haven't talked to him in ages. His words, no lie, were, "You know, I was looking at some old pictures of us mountain biking in Moab today and thought I should give you a ring." Freaking weird.
The best part about having phone conversations with this friend is that his wife, a native of the Philippines, likes to listen in. I have no idea what she gets out of it but I can clearly hear her whispering stuff in Tagolog to her husband, to which he'll then ask me certain questions. I figure that it is a cultural thing and let it go. It is probably just them planning to fix me up with a Pilipino bride. I'm not joking about this one here. I used to get some weird pen pals out of nowhere thanks to these two.
And now for something completely different....
People have been posting about love a lot lately. Yeah, I get it. Love is great and all that fluffy bunny stuff. No, I'm not going to knock it one bit. I am glad that people are posting about the stuff that they love, but no one has said, "Oh, and you know what? I really love that Grunt guy. He's the bee's effin' knees. Really. Better than maple syrup and cuter than a baby cow." So, in lieu of such a statement, I will say what needs to be said right here right now.
I was going to name you all one by one, but there are lurkers that I don't know of that I love as well and don't know their names. Plus, it's late and I know that I'll forget someone and ruin their day.
I don't know if you can fathom what an impact having people read what I have to say and respond to it has done to my life. When I got out of college in 2001 I burned myself out--I imploded. The disappointment was so great for me that I distanced myself from it all the best that I could. I even took my diploma off of the bedroom wall. I kind of fucked up on life after college and never forgave myself for it. I was feeling like the academic successes that I had in college were all a fluke because of my downfall afterward. I felt stupid and believed it to the core.
In 2005, I started corresponding with a cousin (10 pts. if you can guess who he is in bloggerland) that I used to be fairly close to when I was younger. He was all into this blogging stuff and inspired me to start my own blog, because I liked to write. Well, I certainly wasn't getting a captive audience in real life. This medium opened up a whole new world to me and provided me a way to reach each one of you freaks. That was a compliment. The resulting relationships and outlet have proved to me that I am not stupid, different, yes, but not stupid. Oh, and likable. This adventure has turned me around in the self hate department.
I'm not sure what to do with all the leftover mess that I created for myself in this decade, but at least I don't want to fuck off and die anymore. Really, it was that bad. So, thanks for providing me some more incentive to keep at it. So, those of you who have had privy to my real life details and recoiled in fear, now you can at least have a better appreciation of where I've come from and where I am now. I hope to be heading in the right direction. Keep reading. It helps.
3 years ago