Tuesday, April 29, 2008

Hot-cha-cha-cha-cha, delicious!

I am beginning to believe in a whole new type of fairy. This fairy is called The "middle of the night fuck you up with a baseball bat" Fairy. This fairy must be real, because any other reason why I feel like I've been gone over with a plank of hard ash escapes me.

I was thinking about flubber today. Yes, flubber. Why is it that when you put flubber on your shoes you can only bounce high, but when you put it in a car you fly around and shit? I think that is inconsistent. A person should be able to put flubber on their shoes and fly as well. I then thought of how disastrous flubber toothpaste would be as well as flubber hammers and breast implants. Flubber Astroglide would be interesting. Hmmmmn....

Why do I have a picture of Jimmy Durante in the corner there? Well, because Crystal has a new profile picture that cracks my shit up because, not only does it look like testicles hanging off of the monkey's face, but it also reminds me of Mr. Durante. I would think that feeding that monkey a banana would be ├╝ber hilarious.

I lost an Ebay auction today and I'm pretty bummed about it. It was an auction for a vintage '60s era guitar amp that needed work done on it. This is sort of my deal, "flipping" guitar amps. I can't afford a house right now, and I can't plug my guitar in and play a house, either. The only problem is that I haven't as yet flipped any of the amps that I've fixed up so far. I am like some kind of electric cat lady. My greatest triumph was fixing up an amp from 1957 (Gibson Skylark) that had its own "tenants" and more rust than a 1974 Pinto. I haven't seen that much mouse shit in one place since I quit working at McDonalds so many years ago. Now it sounds downright mean, nasty, and brown. It's my dream to one day hear Billy Gibbons play something sweet through it. The thing that is funny is when my room had a mouse living in it about a year ago, the mouse was always going into that amp and scratching at the wood inside. The smell of the other mice must still be in there. Don't worry, I then figured out after that where to put the trap and caught that little bastard.

Anyway,regarding the Ebay auction, I got outbid 14 dollars, and I bet the dill-hole who won it won't know what to do with it, or make it as cool as I would have.
Anyhow, that's all I've got for today (tonight). I'm off to dream of large women.


Crystal said...

i am beautiful on the inside.

Karyn said...

Ebay can be a bad, bad thing. And being outbid is a big old downer. Ah hears ya.

Keshi said...

I've never done ebay.


The Grunt said...

Crystal~ This is the part of the movie where the studly jock takes off your glasses and discovers that you are also beautiful on the outside.

Karyn~ It sucks donkey butter. I had big plans for that item, too.

Keshi~ It is not for everyone, but sometimes you can't find certain things that you want and Ebay has it.