I went for a real hike on Sunday. I was by myself and decided it was time to graduate from relatively flat mountain roads to trails. I went up a canyon where there had been a major mudslide back in '83. It is amazing to see how the area has evolved over the course of the past 20+ years. I was just a wee lad back in the days of the mud flood, but I remember enough about it to know what happened. It was just a cool hike. I stood on top of a rock next to a 40ft waterfall. I wanted to jump. It was weird. I didn't want to kill myself. I just wanted to jump. Some impulses are scary. What in the hell is the origin of such things?
I hung out with a fellow blogger, Outdoorsy Girl, on Saturday. It was cool. She was in Utah visiting friends that she has known for a long time. Since she is a magnet for weird guys, I think she felt that there was no harm in meeting me since she is used to it. This is the third time that I've had that opportunity of hanging out with her. I was boring, though, because I had taken some sleep aide the night before to help with my insomnia and it didn't seem to wear off the next day. Anyway, it is cool to actually turn a blogger friend into a 3-D friend. However, I can also see how it could be uncool and nightmarish, so I am not exactly an eager beaver to meet everyone that I am acquainted with on the internet. I am a shy person. It may not seem that way when you meet me or talk to me (especially if you talk to me), but I am always terrified meeting new people on my own. Yes, terrified in that deep down place because I am fragile. That being said, I like my blog buddies and I would get over myself in order to meet any of you.
It's a day later since starting this post. I'm a bit of a basket case lately. I'll be finding out the results of my CT scan tomorrow. I thought I'd be all cool about it but it just isn't happening. If I'm not clear I think I'm not going to leave the hospital until I calm down. It seems like there's nothing anybody can say, other than facts, that can help me at the moment. I just need to know, either way.
I'll keep you guys posted.
3 years ago