I went for a real hike on Sunday. I was by myself and decided it was time to graduate from relatively flat mountain roads to trails. I went up a canyon where there had been a major mudslide back in '83. It is amazing to see how the area has evolved over the course of the past 20+ years. I was just a wee lad back in the days of the mud flood, but I remember enough about it to know what happened. It was just a cool hike. I stood on top of a rock next to a 40ft waterfall. I wanted to jump. It was weird. I didn't want to kill myself. I just wanted to jump. Some impulses are scary. What in the hell is the origin of such things?
I hung out with a fellow blogger, Outdoorsy Girl, on Saturday. It was cool. She was in Utah visiting friends that she has known for a long time. Since she is a magnet for weird guys, I think she felt that there was no harm in meeting me since she is used to it. This is the third time that I've had that opportunity of hanging out with her. I was boring, though, because I had taken some sleep aide the night before to help with my insomnia and it didn't seem to wear off the next day. Anyway, it is cool to actually turn a blogger friend into a 3-D friend. However, I can also see how it could be uncool and nightmarish, so I am not exactly an eager beaver to meet everyone that I am acquainted with on the internet. I am a shy person. It may not seem that way when you meet me or talk to me (especially if you talk to me), but I am always terrified meeting new people on my own. Yes, terrified in that deep down place because I am fragile. That being said, I like my blog buddies and I would get over myself in order to meet any of you.
It's a day later since starting this post. I'm a bit of a basket case lately. I'll be finding out the results of my CT scan tomorrow. I thought I'd be all cool about it but it just isn't happening. If I'm not clear I think I'm not going to leave the hospital until I calm down. It seems like there's nothing anybody can say, other than facts, that can help me at the moment. I just need to know, either way.
I'll keep you guys posted.
Earl...
11 years ago
12 comments:
All the best for tomorrow, Grunt. Such easy words to write, but I mean them with all that I am. Shall be thinking of you and sending good thoughts and wishes your way. Every little bit counts, right. Am hoping that you have someone to go with you. If that is what you want in any case. Just all the best, and hugs, and I'll check back. xo
PS Almost forgot to mention the walk, which sounds like a little piece of heaven, to be that close to a waterfall, it just ain't happening where I am in the world. Denmark is a very flat country, beautiful though it is. Free will is a scary thing. :-D The combo though, of subjects, made me think of the opening passage of Lance Armstrong's second book, Every Second Counts. A little bit of fear, like a jump, or the other kind of leap, makes us feel vibrant.
xo
I'm confused...appointment today or tomorrow? I'm crossing all my fingers and toes for you and keeping good thoughts for you.
i still have my team of hot nurses on hand should you need them. even though you won't because you are too rad to get bad results.
Bueller? Bueller?
I get nervous meeting people too. Blind dates make me sick to my stomach. Unfortunately I'm a total sucker though, and have been on way too many!
PS SEND GOOD POSITIVE THOUGHTS OUT TO THE UNIVERSE!!!
I will do so on your behalf as well :)
Thinking good thoughts for you, Grunt. Let me know.
I didn't find Saturday boring at all. The movie sucked but the drive and food and COMPANY was awesome.
I am praying for good results from the CT scan tomorrow. That celebration would certainly call for a big pinata! I will be here for you either way.
XOXOX
You boring? I don't believe it!
I like meeting blog buddies in real life. So far I've met 4, and they've all become super cool friends of mine. I'd meet more if geography and/or fate and/or unlimited money for random travels would allow, but alas, it hasn't happened yet.
Hope tomorrow's, or I guess today's, results were really good. :)
Autumn~ It would be nice to have someone with me for the visit. If things are difficult I can call my sister who works near there. Waterfalls are great but I've seen pictures of Denmark and it is pretty. Thanks for thinking of me.
Pants~ The appointment is on Wednesday. Thanks for crossing your fingers and toes for me. It's good to know I've got support.
Crystal~ Thanks for keeping those nurses on tap for me. I might need them for celebratory purposes.
Sun~ I'm here. The check up is on Wednesday, so I will let you know when I know.
Celeste~ It's weird because I like people but have great anxiety over meeting them for personal reasons. I can handle meeting just about anybody if it is work. Just freaking weird. Anyway, thanks for sending out positive energy for me.
Karyn~ I'll def let you know.
O-Girl~ Good to know that I wasn't as boring as I felt. That movie did suck. Pinata's beware!
Christielli~ Yeah, I am a wild and crazy guy:D The deal with me is if you like to have good conversation, then I am the person to hang with. I'm not like a coked up chimpanzee or anything. That's cool that you've met four bloggers. It would be cool to travel around with unlimited funds and get to meet the people that you'd want to hang with. I think I'd have a good time in Toronto:)
That is so interesting about being terrified of meeting new people on your own. I am very much that way as well. I sometimes wonder if it's because we've had all this time to hide behind the computer, while (hopefully) being so real that it's scary to be vulnerable. Or maybe that's just me!
And I won't "say" anything except I know what you mean (or I like to think I do) about being a factoid in such a situation and hugs always seemed to help me out... so hopefully for you as well! HUUUGGGORAMMA!
Thinking about you! I'm glad you went on a real hike. That sounds like a great idea.
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