Saturday, May 20, 2006

I'm in love...

...with my blog.

It was Robert Plant who sang, "I can't quit you babe, so I'll have to put you down for a while."

This blog has been my main mistress and my other two blogs have been neglected. I'd make a horrible polygamist. The real thing that concerns me is that I spend too much time doing this blog and my actual writing goals have been put on hold because of it.

So, am I really in love with my blog, or am I in love with you? Who are you, anyway? Everyone, no one, someone, what does it matter? Maybe, I'm just in love with myself and all your comments and blogs are my porn collection. Well, what is it? I dunno?

I don't think that I'm ready to put you down for a while. In fact, I think it's time that we go all the way. Do you want to see how far I can take it? I'm holding back, believe it or not. You better strap yourself in. It's going to be a hell flume.

Or, maybe I'm bluffing. I hear that guys exaggerate the size of their blogs all the time. I added a hit counter. I used to be against these, but it was free and everyone was doing it--and it's kind of like pushing the yardstick in to get another inch--boys will be boys. I think that the site meter would have been a better route. Then I'd be able to see just who really loves me and who lurks without giving me some sugar. I know of two people that have read everything that I've published on my blogs. Me and that one person that I shall refer to as Honeysuckle Rose (Ramblin' Rose had already been given out). Why? 'Cause, that sort of thing will bug her. Who am I talking about? Well, get reading and you'll find yourself stroking a four-leaf clover--not a euphemism. Or was it?

So, do any of you miss the old me? I started out like this. Or, how about this one here? Maybe you're into this kind of dark story? No, most of you came in while I was doing stuff like this here and where Thomas first questioned my motto in the comments section. Oh, I've done more serious posts, like this incendiary take on ignorance of the overzealous, this one raised some important questions about how death motivates our religious beliefs.

No, I suspect that most of you go for this sort of heart warming story, or this kind of hair raising tale.

Of course, you could do a whole tour. Any of my stories involving bowel movements are gut-bustingly dangerous. Just ask Scott.

Oh, this last part was like watching "That 70's Show" series finale--too many damn flash backs! Let me know if I've improved or have got worse. As my mantra goes, "Baby, I can change!"

25 comments:

Gentleman-hobbs said...

You can't fight evolution, and most would praise you for being one of the few out their with a bit of individuality and creativity. Shit those were long words!

goldennib said...

Oh, baby, don't change a thing. Or rather, do change it up a bit. Varity is the spice of life, yeah.

Don't be a tease. If you're holding back, let it loose.

I've found all of your entries interesting and I like your easy free flowing style.

goldennib said...

Just read the Cherry Picking story. Loved the revenge ending. I have a friend who did picking in MN of various things when he was young. His father had left his mother with absolutely nothing (took every lick of furniture, clothing, dishes, things he didn't need, things he couldn't use.) So, he and his sister had to do whatever they could to help support themselves. I picture him hocking into his father's drink. Thanks.

goldennib said...

How hot, exactly, is a bitch kitty?

It amazes me what some people must do and endure to support their families. It is so easy to forget what people suffer at the hands of their employers, MDA, indeed. You, too, for having to suffer your employer's mental abuse.

goldennib said...

Cars/trucks have souls, that's why people love them so. That F-250 story is powerful.

goldennib said...

I think you should do a coffee table book on pooh. Abe's Ghost was hysterical. And I love the rhyming poetry in the middle.

goldennib said...

Fish, fish, a man's favorite dish.

goldennib said...

I can't stand being preached at from anyone.

In my search through life I have found science and religion to have more in common than differences. Just like religions have more in common. It is just the outer clothing that is different. Usually the meat of the matter is the same.

goldennib said...

I follow that guy would said God would kill him if I didn't send him my money. Boy, I (pitch)forked the cash right over.

goldennib said...

I liked the story of Lance. It reminds me how we should all enjoy the simple joy in everyday things.

goldennib said...

The flying garbage truck would make a great children's story. Especially for bedtime reading.

OK, I've read all of your highlighted posts. Now, I'm done hogging your comments area.

Good stuff.

Chief Scientist said...

Grunt, my man, you got a panty splash, methinks. Consult Chris or I if you need advice on what to do next. Tell her to send you a picture that says "I HEART ME=MC^2" ... no, scratch that, get your own equation.

And, knowing what you like, make her wear that Catholic schoolgirl outfit when she does it.

The Grunt said...

Goldennib~You've just recieved a virtual four leaf clover for doing all that reading! You will find that your week will be extra good. I am indeed glad that you enjoyed those posts. I spent a lot of time blogging to thin air back then.

G-Hobbs~Thanks for the long words and compliments, mate. I don't really know how far I can go on my good looks alone, so I developed my creativity. Haven't made one red cent of it yet!

Cash~So, what am I supposed to call you? I hope Cash is cool. Well, I think doing the Aqua Velva with some silk would do me some good. (Settle down Beavis!) Yes, Catholic school girl outfits are all the rage with my hormones these days. Advice? We all need that. What do I do with this bushel basket, Cash? Come on people, I'm a good boy. I just can't hold back my evil typing.

Melliferous Pants said...

I'm in love with lip balm.

A few weeks ago, in the SLC airport, I saw a guy wearing a shirt that said "I tried Polygamy."

For a minute there, I was worried you were going say you were quitting your blog and I'd be all sad and stuff because I just found you. I will come back and scour your links when I have more time. (I'm just home on a quick field trip, ya know.)

"K" Fingerett said...

Like Mell Pants, I too thought you were gonna say something about leaving... but then I remembered your not allowd to stop blogging... because- that would be bad. Um- blogger itself might crash and burn if you do and everyone will be sad and lost...and alone...

Okay, so I guess its just that I need my share of Mr. Grunt Man whenever I have the chance. [that sounded way better in my head- but you know what I mean...]So no leaving! [that last bit is just for the record]

I'll be checking out those links when I'm done...


~K

Outdoorsy Girl said...

I, too, was thinking that this was a good-bye post or an I'm-cutting-back-on-posting post. I'd have been really sad!

I also read all your highlighted posts and enjoyed reading them all. I'm not as good of a fan as goldennib, though, with a comment for each one. That virtual four leaf clover was well earned. :)

"K" Fingerett said...

Hmm... You had me going there with the garbage truck post. I wasn't sure if you two were gonna make it- even though I can find you here. That just goes to show that your good with your words, Grunt Man.

Thanks for sharing


~K

Queue_t said...

I too checked out all the highlighted posts, hmmn I don't have comment on them all, BUt I enjoy your free flowing style and I hope you will continue to " love your blogging self" cause it seems you have a bit of interest.

QT

word verification ltlpyu??

Vera said...

if you stop blogging my world, as i know it, will end...
v

Güggs said...

i like reading your blog.

A wise movie character once said, "Keep on keepin' on."

markis said...

you have writing goals! that's cool, you have style about your writing, it's entertaining! what sort of writing(?), i dare ask. funny, i'm getting ready to respond to an ad on craiglist for a writer who's in maine wanting to relocate to austin, looking for a quiet house. my house is quiet, very quiet compared to my neighbors bloodhounds, man they're crazy. anyway, you should stop reading this and get to leak'n! 9june, right around di coe-na.

Crystal said...

how did one man manage to get so funneh?

Chris said...

We all have to be in love with something. You're in love with your blog, goldennib is in love with you, Bush is in love with Cheney and I am in love with bush.

Logophile said...

I know the truth, you are really in love with all of us, and we are in love with you and your blog, its like a wild internetastic orgy.
Good reading my man.
But you know what got me?
Do you remember?
You quoted one of my favorite movies over on Thomas' blog, and then I knew, you were destined to be on my blogroll.

The Grunt said...

I don't have time to do an inventory style response, but thanks everyone. And "Stop touching yourself, Kevin!"