Thursday, May 11, 2006

For Markis: Bad photos of St. James Park

I can't remember if this was Newcastle United against Rotherham or Markis' favorite team, London Arsenal, sometime in 1993. All I know was that standing in the Gallows Gate end was wild, and I was puking my brains out from eating a bad onion baji (no, not that Indian kid from Johnny Quest, either). I was shaking and cold, but it rocked, 'cause we all got to sing chants and rush the front, and the "Beans on Toast" chant was the best. The Magpies won, I think. So, no hooligans were needed for the after party.

The bottom picture is of a mate of mine, Jeff, and his girl Julie. Jeff was the funniest guy that I'd ever met. He did a bunch of tapes for me once, and I'm desperately trying to find them. In those tapes you can hear a young me in a band of Jeff's, featuring his comedy . We had a minor hit in his block of council flats in Benwell with the "Mushy Peas Song", as well as a cover of Motorhead's "Ace of Spades". He does a dead on impression of Prince Charles. Kind of an ugly guy, but he is golden. I know that the lot of you will want to know why I lived in England. But that will come in time...when I'm paid enough! International Hoover Salesman of the year, I was.


goldennib said...

What instrument did you play?

"K" Fingerett said...

That's what I was wondering...

I guess I'll have to wait for the England info.


Gentleman-hobbs said...

the gallow gate is Newcastle where they reckon they drink real beer and smirk tabs. They think all southerners are soft shanding drinking poofs. Well its a lager top actually and most of us swing both ways, except me I'm a real man. lol!!! With regards to instruments are you a regular on the blue veined flute?

The Grunt said...

Electric Guitar. I hope to locate these tapes soon. The playing wasn't great because I'd only been playing for a bit back then. Now I play like it's nobody's business.

Hobbs~You really got the sus on those Northerners. And so what if you Southerners are a bunch of shandy swilling poofs? ('cept you) You can still get Newcastle Lager down there, can't you? Also, there's no way in hell I could tell anybody there that I started out liking Sunderland AFC more than them. I would have been hanged by some real riff raff from Scottswood in the Gallows Gate end.

markis said...

i was in boston last august, troll'n around the pubs one night. i was wearing my chelsea replica. walked into this one particular pub, four "gentlemen" were sitting at a table just inside one of those open windows to the outside?, yah, they started singing and i heard the word chelsea, and the word wanker. got meself a drink went straight over to thier table and proceeded to have a rock'n kick arse good time that night. they were from newcastle, they were crazy, and they LOVED my chelsea replica, at least once i told them i only wore it in support of the brilliant gianfranco zola. they invited me to newcastle, "any game i choose". i should call those mates! i need to be in europe. your friend jeff sounds cool. thanks for the photos, and stories matt. oh, hahahaha, "baji"

Crystal said...

those kids look like brother and sister.

just sayin.

vera said...

hey, is that vyvyan??

Scott said...

I didn't know that you were an axman! Very cool.

How far are you from Moab?


Anonymous said...

I'm jealous of his hair.

Outdoorsy Girl said...

Electric guitar rocks!Hope you can find those tapes.

And of course we want to know why you lived in England! That's pretty cool.

Chief Scientist said...

Arsenal? Nice. Did you meet Tony Adams?? They will win the Champ League, I can feel it.

The Grunt said...

Thanks for the comments. I wish I could do a complete rundown reply, but here is some feedback:

-I have not met Tony Adams.

-Jeff and his gal were full-on metal heads. So they look real samey. I always thought that she looked like the bass player from Def Leppard. Their teeth were awful--as well as the hair. That has never stopped me from enjoying good people.

-Jeff can do an excellent Viv.

-Could you tell that the "hit" single was me being sarcastic. It was fun times, indeed.

If you go to England, go to Tyneside. It is now tourist friendly and quite the trendy place to go. Geordies are the best, and you can't understand a damn thing that they say--totally unique dialect and accent. Brian Johnson, Mark Knofler, Sting, Brian Ferry, and the dreaded Gazza are from that area.

Some phonetic and cliche examples of Geordie:

Hoy'd h'yamma o'er eya, liyek. (Throw the hammer over here, like.)

Ahm gannin doon da toon te se war lass. (I'm going downtown to see my girlfriend.)

Ahm gannin h'yam, alreet mon? (I'm going home, alright man?)

Howaye lads, shut ye gobs! Ahm reet knack'ahd; gee us som peace, liyek. Ahm trahyen te git me som kip, alreet? (Hey guys, shut up! I'm really tired; please be quiet. I'm trying to take a nap, alright?)

There might be just a touch of Mackam thrown in there. They're similar, but don't ever tell the Wear people that, and vica versa for the Tyne people. Ship builders are so competitive.

I'll do a post on the Tyne sometime and maybe something from the Wear--The Lambton Worm.