Wednesday, October 24, 2007

Seven down, five more to go

Today marks my seventh chemotherapy session. I will no doubt be feeling pretty messed up and wishing that I was all done with it. I'm really tired right now and should be in bed, but I had to post something--it's how I get good email in the form of comments from you guys.

Sometimes I feel like a brave soul in battle and other times I feel completely frail and lost. In the midst of this pendulum effect I get brief periods where I forget about my cancer and can think of silly things like I used to. I'm not having that moment of pause happen right now.

What's happening now are all the thoughts of my port being accessed, the smells, and the sounds of the infusion room that cue my stomach to feel uneasy and my throat to tighten. There is an awful taste in my mouth that lingers for some days afterward that either makes food rotten, or when I can't taste so well, is the only thing there. I'm losing weight.

People try to help and understand what it is that I'm going through. But I get so tired of being reminded of my situation that when I am asked how I am doing I get a bit upset. I hide it pretty well, though.

I'm getting used to my little alien implant (porta-cath). I refer to it as my "radio dial". Now that I am losing weight it is clearly visible as a dark area under my skin. Of course, it was visible as a protrusion before. Now it is just a bit more freaky. Maybe I should refer to it as my third nipple.

I haven't lost any more hair on my head, but I keep losing it all over my body. I don't have any nostril hair now and my nose keeps running. I look like a snot-nosed kid half the damn time.

Older women (50+) still rub my head. I don't know what is up with the younger generations of women. I need the 20-30 year old crowd on my head. That did not sound right. Well....

My faithful truck Clyde has been a good boy of late. No break downs or otherwise. He turns thirty in November and looks good. I think I can squeeze another decade out of the guy. It takes a lot of love to keep the elderly from the scrap yard. Now that I'm getting more and more run down, it is time for him to take care of me. Thanks buddy!

It has been almost two years since
I killed a weasel with a leaf blower.

15 comments:

Tys on Ice said...

Hey stud...just was passing by and thought that i will take a peek at how u doing...

may be we can get your clyde and my ben to hang out together..ben is only 3 year old and i hve always felt tht he needs a mentor...anyway think over it...

hang in there buddy...

btw, hows the lil shop of horror coming along? sold anything yet?

u take care of urself and i will truly hope that u have some 20 year old girl stroking ur head before the day is over...

Nessa said...

You blew a weasel, huh? I didn't know you were like that.

Punny Yumpkin said...

I looked at the weasel post and couldn't help but laugh. I'ts just one of those things you expect from Monty Python or Benny Hill. Violent yet funny.

One other thing that I noticed is that the people who commented on that particular piece aren't around anymore, but you are.STOMP.

Crystal said...

i would like to rub your head and i am not old.

so there.

Crystal said...

what is a weasel? that's real??? i thought those were made up things.

Outdoorsy Girl said...

Are women in their early 30's welcome to rub your head?

Awwwwww. That poor weasel. It's so sad yet so funny at the same time.

Christielli said...

Clyde is older than I am - woo-hoo! I tend to enjoy when I'm younger than various things.

Awww, poor weasel. Or was it really poor leaf blower???

Jules said...

I'm taking notes...

Scott said...

Effin Weasels.

Feel better yo!

The Grunt said...

Ty~ I've sold three shirts. Every one of those people are very happy with the way they turned out. I'm going to feature one of those persons in a future post.

Nessa~ Weasels need love.

Punny~ I know! I've outlasted them all!!!

Crystal~ If you rubbed my head it would start a fire. It would be a lovely way to die. Oh, weasels are for real and are rather small, yet fierce creatures. They're related to wolverines, yo!

O-Girl~ Yes, you are allowed and encouraged to do so. Rubbing my head is guaranteed to start ovulation. I don't know if that helps you at all, but it is something.

Christielli~ Clyde is a dirty old bugger. You are a pretty young lady. Somehow my love for both of those type of things is great.

Jules~ Don't think about it too hard now.

Scott~ I know! You can't turn your back on those guys for a second.

Sun Follower said...

So I guess this means we can all cross off the nose-hair-trimmer off our list of potential Xmas gifts to you.

*hug*

EBEZP said...

Hang on in there mate!

Karyn said...

Guy.

It's called an ACCESSORY nipple.

And I'm thirty six. Thanks for making me feel effing ancient.

;)

Corn Dog said...

Wooo Hooooo past the half way point on the chemo!!! Yah! Congrats. Give the port-a-cath a pat for a job well done. I'd like to rub your head but I'm sadly...I had to go get a calculator...51.

Poor weasel. But I did laugh. I didn't know we had weasels round these parts.

The Grunt said...

Sun~ Yeah, it's nice not to have any maintainence duties for my nostrils.

Ebezp~ Thanks man. Are you enjoying your t-shirt?

Karyn~ You're only 36? That's just right in my book, youn lady.

Corn Dog~ You are allowed to rub my head. It's not that I don't want older women to rub my head. I just would like some younger women to join in the fun.