Thursday, July 26, 2007

TIGF!!! (That's Incredibly Gay Friday): Blazing Saddles (featuring health update)

I honestly don't know what it is about this movie that makes it TIGF!!! This is, of course, TIGF in a good way. We all know that TIGF is capable of swinging any way at any given time. A day's sexual orientation is a tad different. On TIGF we celebrate the good, bad, and the trashy. Ok, enough of the tutorial. You new Gruntonians will catch on soon enough.

One of my sisters told me that the one common denominator with all the gay men she has known was that they all loved the movie Blazing Saddles. When she told me this I said that it was one of my favorite movies ever. After this she proceeded to inquire about my sexual orientation further. Apparently, I passed her test: I came out hetero--not that there's anything wrong with that.

A-har-har!

So, what does it mean that I like the odd Cher tune and own a copy of Blazing Saddles on DVD? Oh baby, you just shut yo mouth; it's just TIGF!!!


(Grunt Health Update):

Okay, my doctor proclaimed me a Stage 2B Hodgkin's Lymphoma. There are four stages total for this type of cancer. This is relieving because it means that I am just under having been in an advanced stage. My chances of recovery are outstanding. However, we are still waiting for the bone marrow biopsy pathology report to come through. That will change my prognosis if it comes out positive for cancer. The chances of that happening are 5%.

I found out some good things about my general health as well. I had a pulmonary function test and I came out 125% of normal. My blood pressure is 112/78. So, despite having a life threatening disease, I am extremely healthy. A bit of an irony there, I suppose, but it will make my fight easier.

My chemo starts Wednesday. I had two chemo plans to choose from: Stanford Five, and the AB-VD. The Stanford Five involves five chemicals given intravenously once a week for three months. It would render me unable to work. The AB-VD involves four chemicals given intravenously once every other week for six months. I would be able to work a modified schedule with this treatment plan. I opted for the AB-VD plan, so I am looking to the end of January, 2008 as my finish line. The doctors are still deciding whether I need radiation treatment as well.

The risks of these treatments is sterility. Therefore, I am getting some of my boys frozen as an insurance policy. Isn't all of this just so fun?

I have one minor surgical procedure left. I am getting one of those lines put into my neck/shoulder area so that the pain of needles and damaging my veins will be eliminated. I can't remember the name of device, but it is the one that sits under the skin and does not hang out of my body. This also reduces the pain involved with the chemo entering the body and reduces the treatment time considerably. My insurance probably will give me a hard time about this one. Fuckers.

I am already having issues with my damned insurance company. The fuckers sent me an "adjusted" deductible for my CAT scan. Well, let's see, the CAT Scan cost a little over $800. I paid a $500 deductible then 10% of the total cost of the scan. I just got a bill for $160. This is the adjustment that my insurance company felt was necessary to keep their profits high and my stress level as well. Fuckers. Fuckers. Fuckers. Lets' do the math, folks! Hmmn...500+81+160=741. The insurance company essentially paid $69. Supposedly, that deductible now covers all the other major tests that I've had and the insurance company will pay 90%. We'll see. I still have two biopsies, a PET scan, x-rays, and a pulmonary function test, that while authorized by the insurance company, payment is not guaranteed. Fuckers^10.

Insurance companies are always there for you when you don't need them. But hey, what are you going to do, USA? It must be real nice to be on the receiving end of this racket. All of you foreign nations: let us fix your country and take care of your people--look how we take care of our own!

Somewhere, a CEO just popped a boner.

(Update on update: I straightened things out with my insurance company and all these deductibles are going toward a $1,000 out of pocket maximum. Supposedly, any other major diagnostic, procedure, or IV medicine will be covered 100% after that maximum is met--for this contract year. I am still keeping my eye on them, though.)

20 comments:

Keshi said...

LOL Grunty!

How r u?

hv a super duper weekend!

Keshi.

poet said...

here from jules place, take care and sending positive vibes your way.

Scary Monster said...

Well, Cap'n what can me say? Thinkin about this weeks TIGF. The only reason Me can figure out why gay men like the movie is the the fact that a Jewish cowboy is in the hooscow with a black sherrif. Maybe they were playin pokey, ya know; the fastest gun in the west and all.

The seas be rough and the stars are obscured by the clouds, yet your ship be yarr and the crew hale and hearty. Don't worry about about progeny, they'll be plenty of friggin in the riggin, so keep yer Pistols fully loaded.

Stay Stompy.

The Grunt said...

Keshi~ You too! I will probably get a chance to come and visit u soon. I am off and on the computer, so I don't get much time to visit my peeps.

Poet~ Thanks! I really do appreciate your well wishing. Stop by anytime.

Scary~ I just think that Mel Brooks humor has a certain camp quality to it. I like it. As for the bank account, well, I kind of know what to expect with that appointment. Seems like I've had plenty of training. Ba-doom-kish!

Logophile said...

There is defintiely a camp quality to Blazing Saddles, not to mention, Mel is a sexy, sexy bitch.
Much as you are yourself.
Portacath is what my mom calls her thingee for chemo. Is that it?

blog Portland said...

I love me some Blazing Saddles. I too recently became aware of it's homo undercurrents, so now I only watch it while making love to my wife.

Scott said...

Fucking insurance companies. Canada has some high ass taxes but at least we don't have to worry about that. I can't imagine what it is like worrying about that as you are dealing with a disease.

Sounds like you are getting good treatment though. Good luck as you move forward.

Sun Follower said...

I don't have to say it but I will - "Sicko" - see it, y'all. (shakes her head)

Anyway... Grunt - I have no doubt you will come out the other side of this a pillar of health and neither should you - for the prognosis is and was always good.

Sending you nothing but big positive *hugs* my friend.

P.S. "Blazing Saddles" - good; "Young Frankenstein = GREAT!

Kayla said...

I think it's called a Medi-Port, or Portocath..something along those lines.
Way to go working out the insurance issue!
Great luck to ya, Grunty!
You'll be in my prayers, and will keep sending positive vibes to you
:-)

Crystal said...

125% of normal


my ass.



and! YOU GET TO JACK OFF IN A CUP!!! that is probably the coolest thing about cancer.

Queue_t said...

This movie brings back memories for me, this is the movie my Dad and I just love, and he is a ' real man" no splain'n to be done there. When he retired a couple of years ago we bought him a dvd player and this movie! He loved it.
Hang in there kido, stick it to those insurance guys that is why we pay all those premieums!
Talk to me anytime about stuff if I can help... YOu are in my thoughts and prayers. QT

Photogirl said...

This post really made me realize how easy it is to take things for granted (like good health). It also made me proud to "know" someone who has such a kick ass positive outlook on a situation like this!! I'm sorry you have to go through all of this, but I think that just having the attitude that you do have, is such an amazing leap in the right direction. I'm sending you a big hug!

The Grunt said...

Logo~ Mongo like candy.

JJ~ You should try the same thing with gladiator movies. You can tell your wife that making love is necessary to counter the effects of seeing oily, muscle-bound men fight each other.

Scott~ Yeah, I am getting good treatment. That is the thing that concerns me because there are many who could be in my situation and end up dying. This is a terminal disease--if you go without any treatment. I'm just lucky that I have access to the treatment. If a destitute person had what I have, they'd probably keep trying to get around thinking that they were just really sick until it was too late.

Sun~ Yeah, I have been wanting to see sicko. Hey, with you on my side I think I will make it. I like positive hugs.

Kayla~ Yeah, those names are ringing a bell. My portocath wouldn't be visible from the outside. I didn't want anything hanging out of me. Thanks for the prayers!

Crystal~ I have the test results. So, when and how do we work out the details of your end of the deal? I could use some help again. Ooh, that was awful. Forgive me?

QT~ Thanks! The thing about that movie is that it goes both ways, I believe. You can get it from the manly man point of view just as well as you could from the campy point of view. That is what makes it so TIGF!!!

Celeste~ I like your hugs. How I came about my outlook on this is something that I will post about later. You stick around to hear about it, alright?

EBEZP said...

Hey Blazing saddles is a good film, Cher is terrific, Kylie is wonderful and as for Elton well......
You like what you like and thats it!

So after Superbones it's 125% Man!

Good one you sound almost fitter than me. Keep smiling mate!

Serena Joy said...

Oh, pshaw -- I thought the movie was funny as hell and I'm not gay.:)

Best of luck with your treatment, evil mofo insurance company notwithstanding. My mom had what sounds like the AB-VD and it worked very well for her.

Random Thinker said...

here's my thoughts...

the insurance companies screw with patients for a couple reasons:

* to save money
* to piss patients off
* and to make patients so pissed off at them that they refuse to stay sick so they can go after the isnurance company once they are better.

so, here's my hope that you stay pissed at your insurance company, and come january, when all your treatment is done, you go after those f*ckers at the insirance company...

NYD said...

Looks like a lot of things have been keeping you busy, Grunt. I sure hope that everything works out in your favor.
It saddens me to see just how poorly the American insurance system traets people who are paying good money for their services.
In the states you have some of the best treatment available, but unfortunately those who need it most don't seem to be able to recive the care they need.

Give them a good swift kick in the nuts if they don't pony up the cash for the stuff you need.

The Grunt said...

Ebezp~ Yeah, I just get a kick out of my sister's reasoning, lol! As for the other thing, you must be in pretty good shape yourself then.

Serena~ Thanks! I need all the luck I can get. Once I know what to expect from the effects of the treatment I will be feeling much more settled.

Random Thinker~ Good advice. I certainly have recieved an education on medical insurance lately. Before this, on my own insurance, I haven't had to do anything more serious than a co-pay or my percentage of a prescription.

NYD~ Hey, good to see you around! Yeah, this isn't the half of it either, but it's the biggest half. I've had my main computer kick the bucket and my main mode of transportation start to fall apart on me. To add insult to injury my friggin' car stereo died on me today. That stuff is just material and I have people that are going to be helping me out with all of that.

Jules said...

Babes, I hope everything stays sorted out with the insurance co's. Definately keep an eye on them. Bastards.

I'm REALLY REALLY REALLY pleased to hear that other than having that unmentionable thing you have, you're a healthy strong buck! I think it's AWESOME of you to freeze your little men! The world would be at a loss without offspring from you!

Can we have a little get together to celebrate in January?

Karyn said...

I think the ABVD is the way to go. Good thinking, putting some of the swim team on ice.

My dad had the under-the-skin thing put in; I think it is called a stent.

Insurance companies can kiss my ass, they are absolutely fucking evil.

Hey, I know! Let's take a road trip (okay, air trip) and camp in the UK for a while. Universal healthcare, baby!

warm stuff and happy karmic vibes and thoughts fraught with goodness for you, grunty. mwah.