TIGF!!! (That's Incredibly Gay Friday): Blazing Saddles (featuring health update)

I honestly don't know what it is about this movie that makes it TIGF!!! This is, of course, TIGF in a good way. We all know that TIGF is capable of swinging any way at any given time. A day's sexual orientation is a tad different. On TIGF we celebrate the good, bad, and the trashy. Ok, enough of the tutorial. You new Gruntonians will catch on soon enough.

One of my sisters told me that the one common denominator with all the gay men she has known was that they all loved the movie Blazing Saddles. When she told me this I said that it was one of my favorite movies ever. After this she proceeded to inquire about my sexual orientation further. Apparently, I passed her test: I came out hetero--not that there's anything wrong with that.

A-har-har!

So, what does it mean that I like the odd Cher tune and own a copy of Blazing Saddles on DVD? Oh baby, you just shut yo mouth; it's just TIGF!!!


(Grunt Health Update):

Okay, my doctor proclaimed me a Stage 2B Hodgkin's Lymphoma. There are four stages total for this type of cancer. This is relieving because it means that I am just under having been in an advanced stage. My chances of recovery are outstanding. However, we are still waiting for the bone marrow biopsy pathology report to come through. That will change my prognosis if it comes out positive for cancer. The chances of that happening are 5%.

I found out some good things about my general health as well. I had a pulmonary function test and I came out 125% of normal. My blood pressure is 112/78. So, despite having a life threatening disease, I am extremely healthy. A bit of an irony there, I suppose, but it will make my fight easier.

My chemo starts Wednesday. I had two chemo plans to choose from: Stanford Five, and the AB-VD. The Stanford Five involves five chemicals given intravenously once a week for three months. It would render me unable to work. The AB-VD involves four chemicals given intravenously once every other week for six months. I would be able to work a modified schedule with this treatment plan. I opted for the AB-VD plan, so I am looking to the end of January, 2008 as my finish line. The doctors are still deciding whether I need radiation treatment as well.

The risks of these treatments is sterility. Therefore, I am getting some of my boys frozen as an insurance policy. Isn't all of this just so fun?

I have one minor surgical procedure left. I am getting one of those lines put into my neck/shoulder area so that the pain of needles and damaging my veins will be eliminated. I can't remember the name of device, but it is the one that sits under the skin and does not hang out of my body. This also reduces the pain involved with the chemo entering the body and reduces the treatment time considerably. My insurance probably will give me a hard time about this one. Fuckers.

I am already having issues with my damned insurance company. The fuckers sent me an "adjusted" deductible for my CAT scan. Well, let's see, the CAT Scan cost a little over $800. I paid a $500 deductible then 10% of the total cost of the scan. I just got a bill for $160. This is the adjustment that my insurance company felt was necessary to keep their profits high and my stress level as well. Fuckers. Fuckers. Fuckers. Lets' do the math, folks! Hmmn...500+81+160=741. The insurance company essentially paid $69. Supposedly, that deductible now covers all the other major tests that I've had and the insurance company will pay 90%. We'll see. I still have two biopsies, a PET scan, x-rays, and a pulmonary function test, that while authorized by the insurance company, payment is not guaranteed. Fuckers^10.

Insurance companies are always there for you when you don't need them. But hey, what are you going to do, USA? It must be real nice to be on the receiving end of this racket. All of you foreign nations: let us fix your country and take care of your people--look how we take care of our own!

Somewhere, a CEO just popped a boner.

(Update on update: I straightened things out with my insurance company and all these deductibles are going toward a $1,000 out of pocket maximum. Supposedly, any other major diagnostic, procedure, or IV medicine will be covered 100% after that maximum is met--for this contract year. I am still keeping my eye on them, though.)