Wednesday, July 04, 2007

Heavy Petting

I was in a line at a restaurant today looking at all of the different people waiting to order their food. I was looking at this elderly man and to me he looked like a fluffy dog. The thought came across my mind that, if I could, I'd pat him on the head until he started smiling and panting. Nothing sexual, I just wanted to say, "Who's a good boy?" and then balance a Milk Bone on his nose. Am I the only one here that has had this kind of thought?

Let's face it: some people look more like animals than proper human beings. That's nothing new. However, there are some people that take on the form of fluffy, loveable pets. Yes, I am weird, but you already knew that. Yet, you still keep on coming here--blame yourselves for all of this enabling.

I was pretty amused by my thought until I realized that one had to still respect normal human rights and laws. You just can't go around petting people and making them chase sticks, yet somehow we think it is hilarious to do that to animals. Even more disturbing is that the thought of a person, seeming to be a pet, being at one time a kitten or puppy. This got me thinking about what kind of sick things we do to kittens and puppies, feeling them up and such. Where are the laws protecting them from perverts who want to cuddle them all over? Are we all just inter-special pedophiles?

I think I carried this thread a bit too far. Is it still not too late to forget that this ever happened?


Outdoorsy Girl said...

Yes, it is too late to pretend it never happened.

I guess it is weird that I sometimes treat my cat like a person. I talk to her and show her things just the way I would to a human. But I also treat her like a cat and pet her (not feeling her up, though!)and throw a toy ball for her to chase. And I have never treated a human like that...except my cousin's baby. Because he's just SO cute!

I say it is okay to love your pet as long as you don't "love" your pet. Know what I mean?

blog Portland said...

Everyone says that Maria Carey is looking more and more like the cowardly lion. I'm down with that.

goldennib said...

Too late, it's been read.

If we were all still monkeys, we could freely pet, cuddle and pick at each other. It would be expected of us. Could we claim we have reverted?

Jules said...

I used to "pet" people when I worked in the old folks home... so to speak. They loved getting their temples rubbed, or their hair brushed, etc. I never thought about animals...

Geezzz. I probably really violated my cat when I shaved her bald a couple of weeks ago then! *shiver*

Scary Monster said...

Actually Me enjoys looking at folks until Me can discover the hidden animal in their visage or manner.

Who sez ya cain't make folks chase sticks and jump through hoops?


Yo Jules. Yer settin yourself up fer some really saucy commentary, ya know that?
Tee Hee

The Grunt said...

O-Girl~ As long as you don't let Lucy drive your car I think you will be just fine.

JJ~ That is one fine observation, my friend. You need to be awarded with a fine gold medallion.

Nessa~ That's right. Monkeys do some really nasty stuff to each other and themselves. I think monkey love is the dirtiest love of all.

Jules~ I didn't know you had any pets...oh! Oh my!

Scary~ You were thinking exactly what I was thinking there, lol!

vera said...

As my grandpa got older, he started to look more and more like an old orangutan...
My other grandfather is just a jackass.

Crystal said...

Ryan's dog has huge black flappy lips which I have labeled "his labia". Ryan is constantly digging around in there so before we make out I am all, did you wash all the dog labia off your hands first?

it is disgusting and should be illegal.
thank you.

The Grunt said...

Crystal~ Dog "labias" are all discolored, kind of like Michael Jackson's hoo-ha.