Thursday, July 12, 2007

TIGF!!! (That's Incredibly Gay Friday): Pain, anxiety, and my unruly meatwad now in exile

Hola, gruntonians! It's your pal Grunty. I am in ridiculous pain right now. Why? Because, on Wednesday I had a lymph node the size of a golf ball removed from my neck/shoulder area. They had to go in deep to get the sucker out.

I got to eat popcorn while I watched the show. I was only given local anesthesia, so I was treated to all the fun sounds and sensations that one gets with that sort of thing. I had nerves get hit four times during the surgery and one time my leg shot straight up from the pain. I will find out next week if I am infested with the evil C word--well, if I have lymphoma. It will seem for a time that everybody's talking at me about this and it will be a bit of a pain to explain it everytime to each person.

Fear not. Don't cry for me, Gruntonia. No need to jump off of a cliff for my sake. Whatever happens happens. If it turns out to be nothing, then I will dance a dance of joy and celebration. If it is lymphoma, then I will put on my game face, go through the treatment, and kick this son of a bitches ass! Somewhere along the way I plan on getting felt up by a nurse or two.

I must tell you, a very strange thing happened when they pulled out the lymph node. I could've sworn I heard a voice say something when the doctor started cutting out the node, (with a Brooklyn streetwise tone): "Hey, I'm mutating here! I'm mutating heeeeere!" Then I heard the doc swear that this thing gave him the fangul. It was from there that we decided to name the little guy Ratso.
Ratso is now entertaining conning some medical lab technician out of twenty bucks so he can make it down to Miami, 'cause he said, "I ain't going to no Bellvue!" Where's Joe Buck when you need him?

Talk amongst yourselves. Oh, and yes, the TIGF is there if you follow the links.


Keshi said...

is this for real Grunty? OMG I hope ur well. HUGGGGGGGGGGZ!

**If it is lymphoma, then I will put on my game face, go through the treatment, and kick this son of a bitches ass

no cmon it wont be that. U will be fine cos u have Keshi with ya...and she speaks to the angels.

TC n HUGGGGGGGGGGZ again Grunty!

goldennib said...

I love fringed leather jackets.

Good job naming your node. It makes it easier to kick its ass.

You are incredibly strong and brave; a true Grunty.

Crystal said...

meatwad is my favorite.

i am sorry you're going through this. if it turns out that you do have C (which you don't), then myself and a team of my highly hot incredibly slutbaggy friends will come and administer your drugs.

as long as you share.

Scary Monster said...

So Me be figgerin that the Gay object is either John Voit or his fringe jacket. Me would choose the jacket cuz Elvis has one when he turned into a fat dork.

Well, Cap'n you got rid of Ratso and iffin any of he goombahs be around we'll just hafta fit 'em all with the cement overcoat and STOMP the shit outta them.

You take care of yerself.

Mayden' s Voyage said...

Hugs friend...
Been thinking of you all week-
For some reason tonight, while I was loading up the dishwasher- you were in my thoughts-
Said a prayer...I happen to believe that when a person pops into my head for no good reason- I'm supposed to talk to God about them!
He's sick of hearing me worry about you by now! :)

I really do send my best- and hope that you will feel like the Superman you are in no time :)

Trundling Grunt said...

ooh, did the give you a bullet to bite down on while they hacked you about?

Ouch. Get well soon. And you too Grunt.

"K" Fingerett said...

My Dear Mr. Grunt Man,

Here I was crying over my chipmunk cheeks after having all four wisdom teeth removed this week :(

::hugs for you::

You'll be just fine, just rest up. I'll pray for you again tonight- but this time it’s just to make sure you get well soon... I usually pray that you'll come over wearing bright green pants and some cool shoes... Then we would play our guitars, draw funny pictures and toss pennies off of a tall building... THEN we could go to NYC and see if we could find Spidy again ^_^ (we could see if he likes you as much as he liked me)

I hope prayers aren't like birthday wishes before blowing out the candles...Well- just in case, I think I'll stop here...

Till next time my friend!



Jules said...

Just... love you. Mwah. I've kept up in emails, so you know all of what I have to say. So just... love you. Mwah.

blog Portland said...

I hope you already have a tough guy story made up for the scar you're going to have. Tough guy scars will get you laid, like big time.

As for the big C, I say F it. No way sir Grunt is going out like that.

Spacecake said...

"Fear not. Don't cry for me, Gruntonia. No need to jump off of a cliff for my sake."

lulz, I've heard that one many times before. Well, in a bit different manner but still!

Hope all is well, like everyone else :]

paul said...

i wish you the best Grunt!
(and good luck on the nurses)

Photogirl said...

You know I'd hug ya if I could!!!

I love your kick ass attitude! My thoughts are with you :)

Sun Follower said...

my fingers are crossed like nobody's business.

Sun Follower said...

my fingers are crossed like nobody's business.

Sun Follower said...

hey, did I mention my fingers were crossed like nobody's business?

Pokey said...

I just got around to reading this....and I am thinking good thoughts for you. It won't be the awful C word and if it is, we are all behind you!

Karyn said...

Ok Ratso, listen you sumbitch, we can do this laughin' and scratchin' or kickin' and screamin'. And I'm a big fan of laughin' and scratchin'. So how's about you and your nasty ass free radical cells vacate the premises which is The Grunt effective immediately and for perpetuity, and we just call it a day, aight?

Grunt, I'm sorry I missed this event as it was happening.

Peace, hugs, and good stuff to you from the coast.