Zebras are stylish, with their striped coats and all. I wonder if the hyenas secretly feel insecure about this.
I've been drinking a special tea that looks and tastes like pond scum. It is wonderful for my immune system, but it is what I imagined felching would be like. Maybe I should try drinking it out of a....or maybe not. Jeez, I cannot believe I almost went there.
Am I the only one that dreams up sexy back stories and love affairs between the Tapatio picante sauce man and the Cholula lady? I think that this should be the subject of a future post. I can't stop thinking how great their offspring would taste on my chorizo con huevos. Did I mention that my brother is Mexican? I still think it was the irrigation man and not the neighbor's pool boy.
Oh, to be out at sea peeing off the side of a boat onto a smiling dolphin. It's been one of those days, sorry. Well, maybe not bad, per se. It's probably more accurate to say that I'd be peeing on a somewhat emotionless sea creature of random choosing. There, I hope that one is less upsetting for you.
I have found that new pillows need a period of time to break in. What you do to get it to the desired state is totally your own business, perverts.
In the wild, ants can be a good source of protein. However, one must note that they are to be taken orally and not up the urethra. Oh, and please don't shove that termite infested stick up your ass either. Fetch...what am I, your mother?
When shaking a black person's hand it is important to note that not all black persons like doing "jive" handshakes. That black person's name is Sydney Poitier. He is a "black" actor, just in case you still need help perpetuating the differences in humankind. I am rooting for the Inuit next Oscars. The Inuit are like Mexicans, except colder.
4 years ago