Monday, November 27, 2006

When I lost "it"

("Dirty Snowman with Beer Can Feet" by Tangk Tim, anagram for me!)
I lost my "snow" virginity just before I turned eight. I mean, I'd seen snow from afar before this, but never had I actually touched it. It was when my family was moving from Phoenix to Utah. It was at a gas station in Kanab, Utah. There was this dirty pile of snow by the side of the road. My dad had to fill up the Suburban and check its vitals, which took awhile. During this time, I was desperately trying to make a snow man out of this filthy, disgusting, leftover snow plow crud. I remember my mom and dad getting all pissed at me because I was a real mess afterward. It was totally worth it. Very much like other first times.

This post was inspired by Thomas' post, over at American Sweatpants: Snow. He has another one about his snow experiences, I believe his most recent. It is always fun to see someone lose their virginity.

25 comments:

Jules said...

Mmmmmmmm, dirty slow plow cruddy snow. My favorite. First are always fun, if they are fun firsts!

Crystal said...

I lost it in Ruidoso, NM when I was 12. I also taped over our entire family's Christmas vacation by doing my own radio show from the toilet of the hotel.

Issy said...

Okay Grunt. . . gotta ask. Is that dirty little part on the snowman part of his wee-wee? I think I looked too close at it! Either way. . . how cute!

Scott said...

I was born during an epic snow storm in Sault St Marie... my mother was taken to the hospital on a snow machine... we got about 26 inches of snow in the 24 hours leading up to my birth.. i popped my cherry pretty early.

Scott

Chandra said...

I'm like Scott... I was born into snow, plus I had colic so the only way to shut me up was to walk me in the snow. I'm weird, I admit it totally. I don't like the -30 we've been dealing with but I LOVE LOVE the snow.To often we don't take the time to realize the daily miracles. I haven't made a fort this year, I will have to get on that, thanks for reminding me :)

Gentleman-hobbs said...

I built a snow castle with the kids a few years ago and had a war with some action men, plus a few tame sugar and weedkiller powered projectiles. Couldn't stand up as my knees froze.
Sorry haven't been about much November has just gone!

Sun Follower said...

Ha-ha! He looks like Frosty's degenerate, alcoholic cousin!

Pokey said...

In Oklahoma our snow usually sucks. It's here for just a day and then usually starts to melt and all we have left is the ickey black/brown slush crud left over.I don't usually make snowmen,but I do make forts and we usually make snow icecream.....then I wonder how I got fat...hmm

LindzyPinzy said...

what a cute dirty little man:)

Clearlykels said...

I've always known snow. My mom and Gramma did not. We have the most priceless picture of my Gramma in her 60s seeing snow for the first time. Amazing.

The Grunt said...

Jules~ What fun firsts are you talking about, hmmmm?

Crystal~ I want a copy of that tape. That is too cute, but did your family see it that way at the time?

Issy~ Yes it is. That dirty little snow man was incorrigible.

Scott~ That's a cool story. I was born in the Maricopa County hospital in 100 degree weather, not inside, thank goodness.

Chandra~ Can I be on your team when the snowball fight starts?

G-Hobbs~ It's good to see a father get out there and have fun with his kids. This knowledge of snow now confirms my suspicions that you live in the upper (North) midlands area. South Yorkshire county, perhaps???

Sun~ He does! You got a name for him? I'd like to hear it.

Pokey~ Ha ha! Yeah, that kind of snow sucks, but at least you get ice cream out of the deal.

Lindzy~ Cute and dirty are quite the pair, aren't they.

The Grunt said...

You snuck in there without me seeing, Kels. I think we could turn your story into a concept for a game show: Old Timer Firsts!

Kayla said...

I like the added touch of the flower on his head!

Outdoorsy Girl said...

I lost my virginity before you did, then (at least my snow virginity)! This is really saying something considering where I live. But what it's saying, I don't know...

Anyhoo...We usually don't have enough snow to make a snowman of this caliber, but if we get some this year, I'll make his girlfriend.

Thomas said...

This Thomas sounds like a smart guy.

Güggs said...

were you gentle with the snow or did you go voraciously after it? was it over in 2 minutes?

Karyn said...

I want to know the answer to Guggenflurgen's question...haha... Dude, I live in New England - I have no idea when I first saw the stuff but I think I lost my snow cherry pretty early on too...

Christielli said...

I come from a nation of snow sluts. None of us can really remember losing it.

We often envy those who can.

jana said...

i'm from nb canada... we have snow in october most years. so i dont remember when i lost my snoginity. but oh how i love the snow. i'm praying for it as we speak, and your post, seeing a snowman, hearing of your loss of snowginity, just made my night!

cindra said...

Oh, wow. That picture is hilarious! I saw snow all my life, so don't remember ever seeing it...but I do remember seeing the ocean for the first time...another post.

Jules said...

LOL! Snoginity... *giggle*

Keshi said...

**"snow" virginity

Interesting term :)

Keshi.

The Grunt said...

Kayla~ Yeah, I really feel that is what sets him right. It's like garnish.

O-Girl~ You do that. Make his girlfriend and do a post with pics. It will be fun.

Thomas~ And I hear that he also decorated the famous library in Seattle all by himself. That, and single handedly brought down Delay and Santorum, right?

Guggs~ Voracious! Oh, and I did take my time. I enjoyed it until I went numb.

Karyn~ See above reply. NE is cool. I hope to see it all someday, especially Steven King land.

Christielli~ Yes, envy away. I hear it is a bit cold up your way. You can keep it. I have enough here already.

Jana~ You win today's Grunt Prize of Excellence with your contribution of the word snoginity. You can't tell, but I am totally bowing to you right now.

Cindra~ That would be a great post. When I saw the ocean for the first time, I was four. I thought that seaweed was some kind of sea monster, and I about soiled my trunks.

Jules~ Like omg, LOL!

Keshi~ Being from Aussie land, there are still some areas that you can lose your snoginity. I hear that "Man From Snowy River" music starting up now.

Melliferous Pants said...

Seeing a picture of when you lost your snow virginity almost makes me feel like I took it from you.

Photogirl said...

yay for snow (as long as i dont have to drive)