Saturday, March 22, 2008

Searching through my blog's past

I was lonely tonight, so I came on to my blog to see what action it was getting. It was then that I remembered that I had a site meter, of which I've not checked in a long time. So, I decided to check out who has been visiting my blog. Not many today came 'round, but that's alright. I found someone that Google searched "Theodore Grunt" and came to my blog.

Crystal, that was your nickname for me way back when. It is weird that someone else found me that way, or remembered me that way. I don't know if Crystal reads all my posts anymore, but she was one of the first long time Grunt readers, along with Scott, Logo, and Vera. Scott gets extra credit because he's been around this blog since 2005, when I started it.

The post that this person was sent to by Google took me to the past. I decided to review my posts pre-cancer, and I noticed that I have changed a great deal in my style. I'm nowhere near as gonzo anymore, but, I think that I have matured like a fine wine. I also noticed a spooky sense of something "great" that would happen to me right before the shit went down. I also noticed a pattern of me feeling not so good, leading up to the more significant health problems before I was diagnosed.

I don't know if I will return to my gonzo blogging days. Who I am now is constantly changing. I'm going through a patch of unfeeling lately. I think it is a reaction to the extreme vulnerability that I endured this past year.

Three girls that I had dated B.C. (before cancer) found guys and got married while I was "wrote off" as a victim of poor health. It's ok. I'm thinking of ways that I could make "You can get anything off of the Wendy's dollar menu" sound good to a date. I am one broke man. I don't know just how long the fall out of medical bills will be around for me. So, I have figured out the solution to my problems: work out like a son of a bitch and woo an older rich widow--sugar mama!

Seriously though, I complain to all of my girlfriends what a lousy and cheap man I am when I take myself out for a "me" date. Shit, I mean there is no way that I am going to put out if that is the treatment that I get from myself. This is all horribly disturbing. I better go to bed now.

14 comments:

Julie Schuler said...

I didn't know you pre-illness, but you seem just my speed now. If you were any more boisterous I would have to shake my fist at you and tell you to get off my lawn.

Medical bills stink. I'm still paying for an MRI I had two years ago- and they didn't even fix anything. Student loans stink, too. And mortgages.

I just pretend I'm a wealthy bohemian countess, and try not to answer the phone. Also, I don't believe that you don't put out on your "you" dates. I think you're the kind of guy that can be had for a half-eaten order of fish planks and a milkshake. If that's not true, I'd rather you didn't disabuse me of the notion.

Photogirl said...

I think the rich sugar mama route is the most realistic way to go. I mean, seriously, you read my post about marriage for love right? ;)

The Grunt said...

Julie~ Oh, I was pretty of the wall most of the time back then. I viewed my blog as a TV show. I even did a thing called "Gruntstock" to see how many comments I could get. I got over 500 and almost caused a mutiny over it. So, I am happy to be whatever it is I am right now. But, I have to admit that some of my older posts are complete masterworks of silliness. As for medical bills, you have insurance cover quite a bit then you run into areas where they get a bit funny about covering certain things and whammo, you are hit with some far out bill. Plus, even small percentages add up to big ones over time. I know you know what I'm talking about because you run a household and a business. On the subject of the "Me" dates, I saw a joke in there and went for it.

Celeste~ You were rich until you bought a home. Now my hopes for a young sugar mama have been dashed;)

Queue_t said...

I have been hanging with you for a while too, maybe not quite as long as scott but for a while!

I like the " post C" better, I think you are aging well like a fine wine!

QT
P.s. I actaully send you snail mail too.

NYD said...

Go back to gonzo.
Even then when you were depressed you weren't maudlin about it. Give us some dirt on the three chicks and their dopey husbands.

Jules said...

Really Grunty? You don't even end your me date nights with a good wank? Your tube socks must be lonely, Babes!

I like who you're becoming... thee's something to be said for a little bit of maturity, as long as you never fully lose the side of you that likes to have fun. We're all always evolving and most of us are changing with life's experiences and circumstances. That's a great thing!

Best of luck finding that sugar mama!!!

"K" Fingerett said...

Just about everything I had to say has been said... that’s what I get for getting here late... So here

::hugs::

I have to say I love my dear Mr. Grunt Man no matter what changes you are going though. That’s right, I said it- LOVE! I mean, what’s not to love? I guess I have a really big soft spot for someone with a good heart ^_^

And if Mr. Gonzo Grunt Man pops up here and there or just comes back and takes over that’s fine, I'm all for it. But if that doesn't happen I wont be too upset either- as long as silly little Gonzo is still in there somewhere to help keep you happy.

I don't know much about wine at all... I think I've had it once or twice... but that’s not the point, the point is wine is meant to get better with time so if that is the way you choose to look at all of this then more hugs for you my friend :) So see? Change isn't always bad so no worries- okay?

And about the dollar menu, if those chicas fussing about it they have NO idea what they are missing! Their nuggets are sooo yummy! In fact, you should try that next time-- order nuggets and share them--two each-- and then split the last one (or if you wanna be really nice, just give her the last one) see what she says about that one ;o)

::more hugs::


~K

The Grunt said...

QT~ Yes, how could I forget my secret operations division;) I enjoy the snail mail, btw.

NYD~ It was a good thing I was being all mopey and down on myself because that is how I kick myself in the ass sometimes to do a better job. I'm looking to evolve my so-called gonzo.

Jules~ Does Oprah still keep Steadman around?

"K"~ What you said has really touched me. It does feel good to feel loved. See what you did? I'm all emotional now.

Keshi said...

**work out like a son of a bitch and woo an older rich widow--sugar mama!


LOL Grunty. I think I need to do the same and get myself a suga daddy.

Keshi.

Karyn said...

God, you make me laugh.

I knew you BC and I think you're just as wacked out and wonderful now as you were then - but you've revealed a deep, introspective streak, and a sense of wonder and awe at what lies before you.

I wonder when you're going to fess up to being proud of yourself for kicking cancer's crappy ass.

<3

Karyn said...

PS: Wendy's dollar menu rocks.

And I don't believe you don't put out on your "me" dates either. Sorry; I just don't buy it. I was about to say "swallow it" but that's a WHOLE OTHER subject.

Goodness.

The Grunt said...

Keshi~ Or I could just move down under;)

Karyn~ I'm sort of hesitant to say that I've kicked cancer's ass. I don't want it seeking a rematch. After my mid-April going over I will probably be more settled. The cancer is all gone but the treatment is still having its say in making my body's progress a bit tough. Oh, and I guess if I lived in Massachusetts I could take you to Wendy's for some dollar menu action.

Crystal said...

me dates are the cheapest dates. and i don't even have to buy me dinner or give me compliments. i do however, have to open doors for me.

theodore! why, i haven't called you that in ages! ah, memories...

The Grunt said...

Crystal~ Or for old times sakes, Chica. Yeah, I was surprised to see Theodore Grunt used in a search. I wonder if they were looking for me/ my blog. Anyway, I'm glad that you open doors for yourself. That's classy and practical.