Sunday, December 16, 2007

Rectum? Damn near killed him!

I wish I were in a jokey mood right now. The title is the only one I could come up with, and that is a joke that has to be spoken in order to be funny.

I'm tired of being in pain, feeling lonely, and tired of being tired. I'm worn out. Treatment number eleven is this Wednesday. I'm going through mixed emotions about it. I'm glad that I am getting closer to the end, but I am so tired of dealing with all the nasty side effects of the chemotherapy and nuepogen injections. I am looking forward to the Holidays.

I know I just need to keep my chin up. It's just that I am really feeling it right now and it's taking its toll on me. I've come to far to give up. Cliche, I know, but it's true.


Jules said...

Sweetie... it sounds redundant, but only 2 more to go... you are mighty, you are strong, you are worthy of happiness - and you will get through this. I love you! (((HUGS)))

Crystal said...

Hang in there, M!!

My friend had brown straight hair and then she lost it in chemo and it came back black and curly! So you have that to look forward to! What will your hair be like? I bet it will be awesome.

Christielli said...

Your title is quite funny, my friend.

I hope that despite the treatments that you have a wonderful holiday season, and I know that 2008 is going to kick ass for you! :)

Karyn said...

HOLY CRAP, *that* is one of my favorite punchlines of ALL TIME. I love that joke!

Look...I know the feeling of being sick and tired of being sick and tired.

But you are -this- close to kicking its everloving ASS and whether or not you creep over that finish line on your hands and knees or whether you summon up some chutzpah from your (unfathomable) depths and charge on over singing your own personal theme song of triumph, you WILL MAKE IT THERE and man o man, is the view from Recovery gonna be sweet.

I know the whole lonely thing - better than I ever imagined I would - and there's not much I can say about that - it's just sucky.

But hot damn Matt, it's when things seem worst that you must not quit, cliche or no. These things become cliche for a reason.

Ok, I'll shut up now but I'm still snickering. (Rectum? Damn near killed him. bwahahaha.)

The Grunt said...

Jules~ Thanks for the love. I know I can get through this. It just gets too much sometimes.

Crystal~ I'm hoping that my hair comes back as a rainbow colored afro.

Christielli~ I hope that 2008 kicks butt for me as well. Glad you liked that line.

Karyn~ Recovery will be sweet for sure. That lonely feeling really does suck. Oh, I'm happy I could make you laugh.

Nessa said...

Sometimes you just need to express your tiredness and depression just to get it out. What you are doing is very tough and you are very brave.

EBEZP said...

Yo Matt, listen just keep your chin up mate! It's tough I know but so are you. Your bravery is to be admired. Keep going - just a little further!

Keshi said...

u dunno this abt me Grunty..Im very familiar with being tired of pain myself.


The Grunt said...

Nessa~ That is very true. It helps to vent.

EBEZP~ Thanks mate!

Keshi~ Pain is very tiring.