Sunday, December 02, 2007

Everything's Satisfactual

What to post about? My dream about being the blog world's Uncle Remus? Nah. Maybe I will post about some real life stuff.

I am in a lot of pain at the moment. Since Thursday I've been experiencing bone pain, a full body rash, a pulled groin, and a dead right arm (not from masturbating). The bone pain went away mid Friday. The rash is now only around my torso. My right arm and groin still hurt like a mofo. I went bowling with a group and I got way too into it, trying to spin 16 pound balls down the lane like a pro. I suck big time but I have fun. It was just too much for me in my condition to go at it like I did.

I look in the mirror and see how much my body has suffered from this battle. Where once were firm muscles are loose lumps. My best friend and I spent the day together on Saturday. He was telling me about Lance Armstrong's threshold for pain being much greater after having battled cancer, to which Lance and others attribute his dominance in cycling. My friend then wondered if the same would be true for me. I sat there and tried real hard to come up with an answer. I don't know.

I've forgotten what it feels like to be normal as far as pain is concerned. Most of my days are spent dealing with the effects of the chemo and nuepogen injections. I do know that the end is in sight, finally. My doctors performed more scans and tests of my body and have found that the cancer is all but gone. I still have to complete my treatments, but that gives me something to hold on to.

Despite having to fight an ugly fight I still have days where the sun is shining and I feel like singing "zippity-doo-dah" to Mr. Blue Jay on my shoulder. I think when I take it all in as a whole everything is satisfactual. I think the corn mash helps a bit.


Jules said...

I'm the first one to give you a giant kiss and an even gianter hug...

It's nasty, and ugly... what the chemo does to you... but your battle with this is almost over, like you said, Baby...

And when you get to feeling good again, and you will, you'll be able to put all of this behind you and look back at it with great triumph!!

Love you sweetie...
Pinky GT

Keshi said...

Grunty wut ur going thru isnt something beautiful. Its a demon. HUGGGGGGGGZ Grunty!

but believe me...u will find ur miracle too, thru this horrible pain...if u 'believe' somehow.


Tys on Ice said...

grunts, u da man!

i hate to sound patronizing, but u will get thru this and as to if lance became stronger due to the pain he suffered, i guess u will find out for urself one day...

one of those days, eh?

hang in there, and give it a gud fite...beat those motherfuckers to kingdom come..

NYD said...

Good to keep your arm in shape for when you do begin masturbating.

I'm glad to hear that you are nearing the end of the treatments. Keep on keepin' on, my friend.

Clearlykels said...

Goodness. I hope you feel better. The combination of all of that stuff sounds Like a good reason to take a nap. Of course, I'm always on the lookout for a good reason to nap.

Karyn said...

"My doctors performed more scans and tests of my body and have found that the cancer is all but gone. I still have to complete my treatments, but that gives me something to hold on to." UM - YEAH?!!!! That's fantastic news. I'm sorry your body has paid such a price for the war on cancer but I'm so proud of you for staying true to yourself and kicking its ass.

Now for crissakes, never mind the bowling and get to ... er... other... right arm activities. Sheesh. Wouldn't think I'd have to tell you a thing like that.

Scott said...

Dude, so happy to hear that the cancer is all but gone! That is amazing. Now Grunt will have to rebuild, faster, stronger and better.

Outdoorsy Girl said...

My oh my what a wonderful day! (Thanks a lot for getting that stuck in my head ;) )

I am willing to bet that you will have that Armstrong pain threshold when it's all over. Normal pain will be nothing to you. :)Maybe your dreams of possessing super powers will come true!

Did you go do that disco, glowing balls bowling in Ogden, by the way?

Christielli said...

Congrats on being done with the cancer! That's great that those horrible cells are gone!

I'm glad that you are still having those zippity-doo-dah days and that you are hurting yourself bowling. Is there a more noble way to hurt oneself? Wait, is noble the word I'm looking for here??

The Grunt said...

Jules~ I sure hope so. Thanks!

Keshi~ I will get through this!

Ty~ They might get me on the ropes now and again, but I will beat 'em.

NYD~ HA! Yeah, I would hate to lose that.

Kels~ I like naps too!

Karyn~ Yeah, I shouldn't lose sight of the big picture.

Scott~ Now that is something to look forward to.

O-Girl~ Nah, it was just some lame bowling alley South of where I live. Zippity-doo-dah!

Christielli~ I think Homer Simpson would agree that it is noble.

Sun Follower said...

I think that when it's over (and it will BE over) that you'll go to bed and wake up and find yourself next to Bob Newhart.

Hang in!

Network Geek said...

Grunt, I followed you here from Jill Writes.
Been there, done that. T-shirt ordered. If a big sissy like me can make it, you can, too. The hair grows back. *All* of it, if you take my meaning. In fact, I'm a little hairier now than I was before chemo. Also? Not as much bothers me.

If you want to "talk" about it with someone whos' recently been where you are, just drop me a note.

Keshi said...

I know u will. cos u r one of the STRONGEST ppl I've ever known!