Friday, February 09, 2007

TIGF!!! (That's Incredibly Gay Friday): Guess Jeans and the poster that got me through adolesence

What can I say about the most TIGF jeans in existence? I never owned a pair, that's what. I was strictly a 501s man, dabbled in acid but learned my lesson. However, it was the popular kids that wore these things, and I wanted to make all the popular kids eat shit and die. Yet, deep down inside I wanted to be one of them. Well, I never got to wear "rich kid" clothes. I didn't even own a pair of Air Jordans. What I did have was a Guess Jeans poster of Anna Nicole Smith.

While those popular kids, from well to do and overly religious families, tossed the Guess Jeans posters that came in Sports Illustrated or whatnot, my friends and I were collecting them and tossing off. Well, at least I was. What, you think I would cloister myself in my most productive period? Shee-it.

So, Anna leaves us on earth to wonder about all the various questions and eventual conspiracies about her life. I still have my Guess Jeans poster of her. I think I will get it out and tuck it into my pillow case tonight, just like I did when I was a teenage boy. Hell, I think I might even bust out my RHCP "Uplift Mofo Party Plan" cassette and get my TIGF on. Any of you care to join me--a TIGF slumber party in Miss Smith's honor?

I'm hoping that I will be visited by her ghost tonight. I will attempt to summon her spirit from the netherworld by going into my bathroom with the lights turned off, holding a candle, and say her name three times while looking into the mirror. I would settle for a level 6 haunting from her, whatever a level 6 haunting is. She could at least just show up in my room and yell "Trimspa baby!" Come on girl, you owe it to me. I'm holding a paranormal torch for you, Anna.

(Note: I've finally got around to adding a few, new fellow blogmates to my sidebar menu. Welcome Trundling Grunt, Barbarian, and Baceman! Also, I took the time to respond to all of your comments in the previous three posts. Check that out if you want to. Peace out!)

11 comments:

Clearlykels said...

I completely forgot about Guess jeans. ha ha, I definitely owned them. So, ridiculous.

somewhere joe said...

If ever there was somebody famous for being famous she was it. R.I.P.

505s for me. They go with everything.

Barbarian02003 said...

I was a skirt wearing person myself. It's amazing what a BeDazzler and hot glue gun can do to thrift store clothes.

Level 6 haunting: basically a ghost goes around stealing socks and any loose change, moving your car keys, changing the canned goods around in your pantry, and waiting for you to get out of the shower before blasting you with cold air.

I think you are looking for a level 69 haunting. These are rare but do occur, especially to those who hold candles up to mirrors and chant a name three times, but you have to be completely naked save for a tube sock over your...naughty bits.

Photogirl said...

I never owned a pair until recently actually. But yes, back in the day, the little guess triangle symbol on a pair of jeans was definitely a sign of coolness.

vera said...

fat girls couldn't buy guess jeans...
:D
/vera

Issy said...

I can relate to the rich kids having the Guess jeans. I always was the kid stuck with garanimals or toughskins. When I got into high school, I begged my mom to buy a pair for me. Finally she did . . .just one pair so I was allowed to be cool once a week.

Hey, if you see Anna this evening, tell her I said hi and that my favorite episode of her reality show was when she was chasing her dog on the floor on her hands and knees and got her fat ass stuck in between the legs of her sofa table. God I laughed for hours over that one!

Karyn said...

I had Guess jeans. In different colours; blue, black, "sandstone". With zippered ankles. Gaaaaa.

I'm in on the TIGF slumberparty. Is this BYOSB? (Bring your own sleeping bag?) I'm guessing yes. Guessing! Get it? Oy...

Outdoorsy Girl said...

I was so hot in my Guess Jeans. Ah, those were the days!

Anyway, if conjure up Anna, make sure to thank her for the MANY laughs she provided me on the Anna Nicole Smith Show. You know I almost feel guilty for making so much fun of her and Sugar pie. Oh, the fat jokes and other cracks at her disgusting, crude behavior were so harsh...and funny! Shame on me.

I am totally up for a slumber party. I'll wear my Guess Jeans. :)

Sun Follower said...

Why couldn't it have been Paris?...oooh, that was mean. Take backs! Sorry!

Mayden's Voyage said...

Grunt,
She was loved by many~
If you see her, send my best...

I agree with Sunfollower-
"Why couldn't it have been Paris?"

Gentleman-hobbs said...

I see you get a lot of comments fron the ladies old man. Good show! Do you think its your whit charm or something downstairs?