Friday, February 02, 2007

TIGF!!! (That's Incredibly Gay Friday): Lobster Tank Lovin'

I like to examine the activity of the lobsters in any restaurant or market's lobster tank. There is an orgy going on in there. I really feel that the lobsters know of their impending doom, so they just go all Caligula at a clambake on each other. I figure that If I had been captured by aliens and knew that I were to be killed then eaten, I'd certainly want to just say "What ain't tied down is first! What is tied down is for later!" I mean, I think I know the real reason lobsters are all red when they are on your plate. That boiling water is just to get all the lobster tank love off of them...unless you are into that sort of thing. You know, whatevers it is you dig is your business.

If you were a lobster in a tank, what would your first act of carnality be? Remember, this is TIGF, so get into the spirit.

18 comments:

goldennib said...

I can't look at lobster tanks. When I make eye contact, they scream to me to help them escape.

Scary Monster said...

Forgot to mention that there is a new Cabo story...


Dog pile with me on top so Me gets a chance to escape.
Me has never been able to tell the difference between boy and girl lobster. Me figures iffin me is gonna die someone's gonna get me lobster lovin. Can anyone else hear the B-52's playing in the background.

Clearlykels said...

All I know is that I went into my local grocery store and half of the staff was staring at the lobster tank and taking bets on which lobster would win in a fight--- thank goodness I am leaving-- it may just be for a day, but thank goodness.

Mayden's Voyage said...

LOL :)
I's SO glad I'm not a lobster!
I plead the 5th :P

Barbarian02003 said...

I'd redecorate the tank first, that white bottom isn't doing anything to accentuate the glass. Then I'd talk in a French accent and try to pick up the most pathetic, gullible lobster in the tank. I'd fill him/her full of my expensive, hard to find wine and then offer to give him/her a back rub.

Once I had him/her relaxed I'd rip off that shell and get going. Afterwards I would cry and tell him/her that they don't love me and shove them into the searching hand to be boiled for dinner.

Christielli said...

Lobsters, lobster tanks, and anything lobster-related makes me think of one of my all-time fave Simpsons characters: Mr. Pinchy.

logo™ said...

I think whatever lobster loving is going on is all good with me, I would just want to be on the bottom, as far from the net as possible.

Gentleman-hobbs said...

I'd go down on the stones, apparently I wouldn't be the first but looking at the state of Mick Jagger it probably hasn't been done for a while.

"K" Fingerett said...

"Lobster Tank Lovin'" hehe getting ready for Valentines day eh? :P

I really try not to watch them in the tank too much any more...

...After watching them get dropped into the pot and then opening it wayyy to early- early enough to see them trying to crawl back out... Yeah... I felt so bad... But they tasted so good...

Any-who-

Hello Mr. Grunt Man ^_^

Its been a while. Did you miss me? Thats okay, you dont have to answer that...

Barbarian's comment made me laugh... ^_^

Well I should get going :)

Happy Friday!


~K

Jules said...

I'd point my little lobster ass towards the glass and start mooning everyone. I'd watch to see how many looks of disgust I'd get. Just as the fanciest couple was walking by and taking a lean in to further discuss my mooning them, I'd fart and see what kind of looks that would cause (while I prayed they weren't there to buy me).

Bugs said...

Personally I'd rip off any fingers that strayed into my tank and proceed to munch on them slowly,in front of all the customers.
Who's gonna choose seafood with a side of human digits?

Trundling Grunt said...

I don't know that I'd touch one as I'm sure they have crabs.

I'd be doing my damnedest to spoil their meals as much as possible.

Photogirl said...

I'd remove the rubber bands from my claws, and use them to sling shot various floating oddities from the tank, onto the plates of nearby restaurant patrons.

Scary Monster said...

Me dont know what IMe would really do at the bottom of a tank, but me does know how me spent the last twenty minutes killing time

http://www.njoyment.com/game/304/Lust-for-Bust.html

cindra said...

Lobster tanks depress me. I'd kill myself if i was in there...i don't think i could get it up.

NYD said...

I'd freakin panic thinkin about all the sushi I've eaten over the years. Then again I might just get a great big ol' sign that says "EAT ME" on it wave it over my antennae and hope for reverse pychology to take effect

Keshi said...

u know whenever we go down to have Chinese cuisine, it makes me sad to look at those tanks...I feel horrible to be a lobster-eater :(

anyways, wut wud I do? Well I'd just tell em that not all their 'oral' habits r pleasing to me hehe. And hope they wud change their mind :)

Keshi.

Güggs said...

I'd fucking eat myself.