Thursday, February 15, 2007

TIGF!!!(That's Incredibly Gay Friday): The Wolf Shirt Wearing Man

Nothing says outrageous, manly-man super powers, "BEWARE!!!", than a testosterone enhancing wolf shirt. If you dare question this claim you'll have to get through this guy to prove it.

I once was feeling rather sand kicky in facey once and had to buy three cougar shirts to even get hard. I bought one wolf shirt and I was lifting up 50 lb. dumb bells with my Grunt staff, using a specially designed harness given to me by none other than Joe Weider himself.

So, moral of the story: Don't waste your time on lesser "macho" enhancing shirts--go for the wolf. Wolf shirts are TIGF!!! in a super masculine way. Girls, you can also try on a wolf shirt. You will be able to fend off would be rapists 75% faster and twice as deadly. Not to mention, it is a good way to attract female companionship, if so oriented. Or if you want to surprise your man, you could attract a mullet wearing lesbian tag-team partner for the bedroom, wearing a wolf shirt.

Just remember, if you are wearing the wolf shirt in the relationship, you are the butch not the femme. I'm not sure what happens when both partners wear them. I'm thinking that total awesomeness breaks out and you have to call the fire department to put that sucker out.

18 comments:

egan said...

Those shirts are everywhere you look in Alaska. I even saw the locals wearing them. They're rather hideous.

Claire said...

Aw man. TIGF always makes me laugh.

Cxx

Barbarian02003 said...

Aa-Ooooooooooo!

Scary Monster said...

Me was wondering iffin Me could get one of them with a picture of me riding on the back of the wolf. Would that still count as gay?

STOMPOLODEO

Photogirl said...

Oh god, those shirts remind me of my hometown. Wolf shirts are even more TIGF if they are worn by someone driving a big ass 4x4 redneck truck.

Karyn said...

Sand kickey in facey. Oh my goodness; I laughed so hard at this. That harness must chafe!

(I do not. Will not. Wear. A wolf shirt.)

Jules said...

I totally owned a shirt with a wolf on it when I was like 13. Come to think of it... was that when I started to think sexu.... ah, nevermind!

Outdoorsy Girl said...

Thanks for this advice. I will remember to wear my wolf shirt next time I'm hiking through Waterfall Canyon--not to attract a lesbian partner, but to fend off rapists (or stabbers.) Actually, I don't own one of these mega-cool shirts. Can I borrow yours?
You know you have one. Don't lie.

If not, I'll just borrow one of your Cougar shirts. You have a couple to spare.

NYD said...

Grunt did you want to talk about wolf shirts or lesbians?

Does that anti rapist thing work for men as well?

The Grunt said...

Egan~ Hideously awesome?

Claire~ Served up fresh every Friday, even in the UK. It's my pleasure, Claire.

Barbarian~ You are good, real good.

SM~ I would buy that shirt and wear it to my wedding.

Celeste~ LOL! Pretty much anywhere North, South, East, and West of the Wasatch Front, where I live, is wolf shirt territory. We get infiltrated on a regular basis. no one is safe.

Karyn~ You know, I love making your monitor smell like morning coffee. I recommend a little 409 to get those stains out of the plastic. Remember, spitting out coffee is much safer than having it shoot out your nose.

Jules~ Embrace your past and wear a wolf shirt!

O-Girl~ I will only let you borrow one if you tell me what you are up to first.

NYD~ Everything I talk about is a thinly veiled ruse to hide my obsession with lesbians and my involvement in Amway. The anti-raping quality of wolf shirts does work for men. Sadly, it also encourage "deviant" social behavior, which means you might enjoy a bit of rough prison-style sex. Wolf shirts can be a bit overwhelming for the novice. I'd start with a lone wolf shirt before going onto whole wolf packs, and never, never, wear a wolf shirt where the wolf is busting out of a Confederate flag. Trust me, you have to earn that one.

goldennib said...

I don't think I've ever seen a hotter man.

Always on the Move said...

I bet you are secretly wearing that T-Shirt every single day, if you're not wearing it out in public, then I bet you're wearing it at home. I also bet that, that was a VERY recent picture as well!!!
Yeah, those shirts are HUGE in Canada! But for us locals, we think they're nerdy, and we stay FAR away from them! Well, at least I do! LOL! You'll never see me wearing one of those! Not even a sweater with any kind of animal on it! Sorry!!!!
(I finally decided to stop being a snob myself and decided to stop on by!)

Trundling Grunt said...

Actually i think they look like a bunch of pussies. Why not just wear a short saying 'I have a 12" long penis' and have done with it?

Logophile said...

You would look sooooo hawt in that shirt, ok, like, totally fabulous!

Photogirl said...

Haha! I feel for ya buddy! If you get cornered, don't freak out. The wolf (shirt guy) can smell your fear.

Bugs said...

LMFAO! Last Xmas I bought Him Indoors an almost wolf T-shirt to sleep in.
He keeps the cats company in our music library when he models it ;)

Keshi said...

wow he's wolf-HOT. LOL!

Keshi.

The Grunt said...

Nessa~ Except for me, right?

AOTM~ Look at the post just before this one and you'll see me. The wolf shirt man is just a beautiful loner who walks the earth looking to bring justice to a world full of corruption. Keep visiting me, alright?

TrG~ Yes, and while we are at it, if you make any claims to having that large of a penis you must have a Judge verify its actual length. Then you could carry your big dick card around and really impress the ladies. I have always felt that guys are more turned on, secretly, by big penises. It has nothing to do with being gay, just insecurity.

Logo~ If you'll buy one for me I'll wear it for a post.

Celeste~ I think you are right, LOL! Thanks for the tip.

Bugs~ Heheheh! Right on.

Keshi~ Rawr!