Monday, January 08, 2007

Loony Quasi-Limericks....uh, not even that. Just bad rhyming for the hell of it

In my weakened, frail state, I wrote some far out gems for your enjoyment. Excuse me while my pancreas leaps out of my esophagus. Much better. No wait, those were my gonads. I guess I need to see a doc pronto.

None of needs to make any sense; in fact, it's better if it doesn't. Enjoy!

I bought a can of tunie.
Started a fire and burnt some tires...
They thought I was a loonie.

Mice like Mickey,
Throw away the cheese.
"Meeces want acid," said they.
What kind of mice are these?
(Okay, technically not a limerick, but it sounded funny)

Wash the duck.
What, the duck?
Yeah, the duck!

Sorted and filed.
Annoyed and reviled.
Taken from my check.
Lousy broken neck.

Get it out of there.
It does not belong.
What were you thinking?
Boy, you're sorry now!

Liver and onions
What a treat!
Real salty and strange
My liver with onions.

Rubbing it raw.
It hurts and stings.
Oil the springs.
Rubbing it raw.


Christielli said...

My favourite is the one about the duck. I tend to like ducks.

You are very creative indeed my friend.

Mayden's Voyage said...

Hubby owned every electronic game under the sun...I asked him to read your last post-

He laughed for a good long time :)
I knew he would appreciate it...but he still doesn't like it when I beat him at Rummy-

I'll leave it at that ;)

I hope you are not sick again- :)
(but it sounds like you too- my lungs keep trying to squeek out! ewwww )

I liked the duck limerick too :)

Bugs said...

There once was a chappy called Grunt,
Who went on a little mouse hunt,
When assailed with glossolalia
Thought his limericks were a failure,
And performed an acrobatic stunt ;)

Jules said...

Ehem... What are you rubbing raw?

Sun Follower said...

What? No "once there was a man from Nantuckett" ?!!!

Bugs said...

There once was a Grunt from Nantuckett,
Who kept his joystick in a bucket,
Though he rubbed it raw
He began to snore,
And the mice moved to Pawtucket.

Scott said...

I like Bugs'!



vera said...

ya loon!
swashbucklers yell "yarrrrrrrrr!" when they attack me!!
i almost pee'd me pants but i wasn't wearing any.

Outdoorsy Girl said...

Awesome dude! You need to add some music and sell this shit.

The first paragraph didn't sound very good at all. You really should get to a Dr. soon. :( Hope you feel better.

Photogirl said...

At first I thought you were good at rhyming. But then I got to the end. Now I think it was just good timing. You're a half-decent poet, friend.

somewhere joe said...

There once was a blogger called Grunt
who knew how to score with a bunt
at just the right time
he'd lay down a rhyme
that clever ol' blogger called Grunt