I'm thinking of a number between one and one hundred, and it isn't 11 15/16ths. I eat pancakes there. Roman baby!
I have an idea for a seven-coarse burrito. You start at one end and get the jalapeno poppers then through the meal to the finale: fried ice cream, or whatever shit floats yer ovaries. Hey, I'm just trying to get laid here!
Toothpaste needs to change. I'm thinking that it needs to trick me into thinking that I have a shot at the girl working at the bank, you know, while I brush--kind of like re-programming for those of us who need encouragement. Better yet, I should just go around stalking people, grab them, and then brush their teeth until they love me. Bwahahahahahaha! That will work.
Excerpt from the Summer blockbuster, "The Nightbrusher":
The Nightbrusher (gleefully): "Mama give us the pearly whites?"
Victim #2 (under duress and frothing): "Aaaaaaah, s-stop it, (struggles to talk from mouth trauma between strokes) you fu-urkg-ucking freak!"
The Nightbrusher (perturbed): "What? Colgate not good enough for you? I'm not fucking Daddy Warbucks, you ungrateful bitch. Oh, I've got your Rembrant right here, baby!!!"
Victim #2 (horrified) : "Oh god no! NO!!!"
The Nightbrusher (grinning): "Say ah!"
Think I should shop that script around?