Friday, June 20, 2008

TIGF!!! (That's Incredibly Gay Friday): Things that are swell and not swell

Today's post is about swellness, or the absence of. Having a long phone conversation with someone that is swell, is, um, swell! Having your phone battery die on you during a good part of said conversation is not swell. In fact, there is a definite absence of swellness involved in that happening. The only time that is swell is if you do not desire to converse with the person on the other line.

Jesus, where were you? I thought that being my personal savior also meant charging my phone via a miracle or by the power of the Holy Ghost. I don't want to get Satan involved, either. He demands oral sex in exchange for supernatural intervention, and I am so not that way. This leaves me with waiting for my phone in the "off" position long enough to turn it back on and hope to hell I can say a quick goodnight to the person. Well, at least it was a voice mail. That was semi-swell.

In short, swell is "gay" for good. At least, that's what my cell mate told me.

9 comments:

NYD said...

Swell is ok. Outdated, but ok. If your cell mate is swollen then you are in trouble. Tumescence is gay!

Gots to get yourself the emergency battery charger.

megatropolis said...

I totally agree. Having a good phone call cut short is indeed NOT swell, especially when it is a conversation full of swellness. Kinda like a nice ass is swell, but the smell of multiple old man ass and eau de balls is NOT swell (at least that's what I hear).

It's too bad, and very unswell, that the phone debacle robbed you and your phone mate of a proper goodnight, but you can take comfort in the voice mail. You've ALWAYS got voice mail!

The Grunt said...

NYD~ Yes, no one wants a prison cell mate that has a menacing grin whilst engorged.

Meggypoo~ Voicemail smoicemail! Well, it is better than nothing. P.S. Quit hurting yourself!

megatropolis said...

Yes it is. It's better than sitting on the freeway stuck in traffic. I think I'll just start living from my bed, and hopefully that'll keep me safe.

Christielli said...

And who, praytell, is this "swell" person. Hmmmmmmmmm? ;)

The Grunt said...

Meggypoo~ I like the helmet and bubble wrap idea the best.

Christielli~ Well, you are swell too. I just wish my cell phone plan would allow me to call outside of the US without it being outrageous.

Sun Follower said...

swell, sweller, swellest!

The Grunt said...

Swellacious!

Sun Follower said...

supercali-fragilistic-swella-expi-alidocious!