Today's post is about swellness, or the absence of. Having a long phone conversation with someone that is swell, is, um, swell! Having your phone battery die on you during a good part of said conversation is not swell. In fact, there is a definite absence of swellness involved in that happening. The only time that is swell is if you do not desire to converse with the person on the other line.
Jesus, where were you? I thought that being my personal savior also meant charging my phone via a miracle or by the power of the Holy Ghost. I don't want to get Satan involved, either. He demands oral sex in exchange for supernatural intervention, and I am so not that way. This leaves me with waiting for my phone in the "off" position long enough to turn it back on and hope to hell I can say a quick goodnight to the person. Well, at least it was a voice mail. That was semi-swell.
In short, swell is "gay" for good. At least, that's what my cell mate told me.
4 years ago