Monday, June 09, 2008

I, Postapotamus

So, I went in to the hospital today (it's still Monday here) and saw my radiation oncologist. It was funny to see the nurses that worked there looking at me, trying to figure out where they knew me from. I was bald back then. I still don't get tired of comments on my hair and once they figured out who I was my hair stole the show.

So, it was just as I thought. There was no big revelation. But, we did get a direction. He said it would be better for me to wait three more months and re-scan. The reasoning was that the calculated spread of the cancer, if there is still Hodkin's in me, would still be quite manageable. The particular node would require extensive surgery to biopsy. So, I will have to learn patience.

We went over my three PET scans over the course of my treatment and compared the results. I can see why they won't let this go. I'm either dealing with a residual mass, fibrosis, or Hodgkin's. I asked him for a percentage that it would be cancer again and he said probably 15-20%. I can deal with those odds. Seeing the first PET scan again was mind blowing. My whole chest and neck were on fire with this stuff--anywhere there were lymph nodes.

This got me thinking back to the beginning of 2006 when I dropped a lot of weight. It was like I was feeding two, but only eating for one--all that glucose going to my tumors. It makes sense to me now the mysterious illness that I had in June 2006, but was misdiagnosed as viral meningitis. I must have gone through a period of inactivity then in 2007 it finally took over. People, let me warn you that if you start losing weight for no reason, lots of weight, you have not discovered some cool new way of losing weight. Go see your doctor immediately! Scary stuff.

So, I am slowly accepting the fact that this will be a longer wait than I had thought. I wanted to change jobs, but changing insurance right now would not be smart. I can still look for other departments where I am employed to work. It would be nice to start using that college education that I paid for--well, get paid for using it!

On the lighter side of things, there is this family that is currently taking care of their mother who is recovering from radiation therapy for her cancer. I work with one of the family members and so they are also aware of my situation. They have three handicap siblings and, well, I will tell you the significance of that later. They were having a family prayer one Sunday and they let "Judy", who is one of the handicapped siblings, say the prayer. According to my friend, she said in her prayer, "Bless mom, who is in our family, that she will get better," and the best part, "And bless M@tt, who is of the McDonald's family, that he will get better too!" I could not stop laughing when I heard this. It made my day.

For the back story on all of this, click on the link above--her "name". I took part in a lot of her training and it still amazes me to this day that she remembers me, asks about me, and still thinks I work at McDonald's. That was eons ago! When asked where I work at McDonald's she says that she thinks that I help Ronald McDonald now. I think being his personal assistant would kick ass. Even though it only exists in the mind of a 37-year-old girl, I want to have that job and put it on my resume. At least let me a fry guy fluffer.


Diane Mandy said...

You sound a little better and for this I am happy. But three months? Maybe you could press for a date a little sooner?

megatropolis said...

Lymph nodes are my personal nemesis of the year... You can be V.P. of the club if you want. I'll bring the cookies.

I'm sure you're anxious to figure out what is going on inside of the silly chest of yours (as we all are), but I suppose that waiting seems like the right course. Patience is a (really annoying and stupid) virtue :).

Outdoorsy Girl said...

Those Judy stories make me smile.

The Grunt said...

Diane~ They figure that three months is a long enough time to let things either shrink or grow.

Megatropolis~ Lymph node problems are the suck! I really don't want to wait, but I also realize now just how much problems are associated with the particular biopsy procedure. Ugh!

O-Girl~ Then I did my job.

Sun Follower said...

Hmm... whatever you do, don't water it!


“Adopt the pace of nature; her secret is patience.”
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

Karyn said...

You do have good hair, I must say.

Patience. One of those pesky life lessons I guess.

I haven't got the hang of it yet either. Hm.