Thursday, February 28, 2008

TIGF!!! (That's Incredibly Gay Friday): Cha-Cha-Chia!

Ever since I remarked to myself in the mirror one morning, "Holy smokes, I look like a freakin' Chia Pet", I couldn't think of a more appropriate feature for TIGF!!! I have been sprouting hairs all over my body. I am the ultimate Chia Pet. Who wants to water me?

The weird thing is that I am much hairier in some areas than before. It is freaking the hell outta me. I keep asking myself when my voice will drop for the second time. Puberty was hard. I don't want to go through it again.

Okay, I think I need to say some crap about how fabulously gay Chia Pets are in order to meet my TIGF quota. Here it goes: Ha-ha, look at how gay they look--growing that shit all over the place--Tijuana called and they want their crappy ceramic knick knacks back. Sufficient? Yeah, I think so. Well, I think what makes the Chia Pet TIGF, in the most fabulous way, is the commercials, especially the jingle. I need to see if I can download that off of Itunes. Just think if that was your big claim to fame, that you were the person who sang the Chia Pet jingle on the TV.

Do you think that people would come up to you in restaurants and demand that you sing it? That is assuming that you did the local morning news segment about "famous" local people, and assuming that the local news is Casper, Wyoming. That's the type of town that I could see the Chia Pet lady coming from. Wyoming has like one corner in the Northwest that is nice, and that other bit where they are bum-jugging Utah at Flaming George (Gorge). We Utahns won't admit to liking that sort of thing, but at Flaming George the shit goes down. Oh, and Wyoming has that Devils Tower place where aliens played their space tuba at us. Anyways, Casper is the farthest thing away from anything cool in that state. Besides, what kind of state names a city after a little boy that died drowning in a well, then went around haunting people because of his psychotic friendlust?

I tend to ramble. Forgive me. Happy Leap Day! Make sure that when you leap, it is the most TIGF bounding you've ever done.

55 comments:

Diane Mandy said...

Hey now, don't diss da Chia! I always wondered why the television stations were littered with those commercials during Christmas. People actually give them as presents?? No thanks. I'll stay in Germany.

NYD said...

When I leap I make certain I land in perfect form to do a plie.
I have no idea what I'm saying here, but I thing that the chiapet is the perfect housewarming or Chanukah gift.

I also have stock in the company and they pay off in tamales.

Nessa said...

I have been prancing all morning. Is that TGIF leaping enoung for you?

Scary Monster said...

Hey, Hey, Hey! Me done started out as a ChiaPet!!
Do me gots to relenquish me man-card?

Leap, flutter......stomp!

Photogirl said...

Don't you just love how they made a "come back" recently, with the Chia Head and the Chia Hippo? Talk about scraping the bottom of the barrel.

According to Wikipedia, "Chia Pets are a brand of collectible animal figurines". Collectible? LOL. oh my...

Maybe you should do a whole TIGF series on "collectibles". Next week: Beanie Babies

Julie Schuler said...

Hey that Chia Herb Garden seemed pretty nice.

I wish I had a space tuba.

The Grunt said...

Diane~ Given another time and place, the Chia Pet would have been offered as a sacrifice to the ancient gods.

NYD~ Tamales, eh? How do I get some of that action?

Nessa~ I need video proof:)

Scary~ I knew there was a reason for becoming such a scary monster--someone cut off your sprouts!

Celeste~ Don't get me started on collectibles. My brother is a hopeless collector of crap and it bothers me to no end.

Julie~ Space tubas are the shit. I guess I will have to settle for a kazoo. That's still pretty cool.

Jules said...

I ALWAYS wanted a real chia pet when I was a kid. I never got one. Unfulfilled dream #1.

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