The day started off incredibly harsh. A couple of medical bills that came in the post were a reminder that my insurance re-enrollment is in effect--deductibles and out of pocket maximums to be met again. My body wasn't having any of it, either. The mind, well, it was making things hard all over. Needless to say, I set off to work with a morbid curiosity of whether I would make it through the day, or self destruct.
I played through the pain one more time, and while things did not go swimmingly, there was an improvement. I don't feel like imploding at the moment. This is a good thing. I have been good with my money, so while I may not have much to dick around with, I won't be tanking from these big bills. The rash that I have is not going away, but at least it may be my ticket to a leprosarium in beautiful Kalaupapa. My apologies to those suffering from Hansen's Disease. Leprosy jokes aside, my point is that I am looking for the brighter side of suffering. Sort of like the closing scene to Monty Python's "Life of Brian".
I can recognize when the day is getting better because I can tell people that I feel good without feeling like a lying sack of shit. At least six hours of my day were like that. It is a good thing that those six hours were the wrap up. That way I can trick myself into thinking that the whole day was good. It's all how you look at things, really. Try this for example: You eat a bunch of jelly beans and then you start to throw them up, only to then swallow it all back down in one giant acidic gulp. Well, a sorry way to look at this would to complain about almost throwing up and how bad the stomach acid burned your already tender esophagus. The better way to view this is to think of it as a jelly bean encore, with added zest! That's the way I chose to look at it. The fact that I was laying down on the couch when this all happened made it even more joyful.
Always look on the bright side of life! *whistles*
4 years ago