Monday, February 25, 2008

Whistling Dixie on a Crucifix

The day started off incredibly harsh. A couple of medical bills that came in the post were a reminder that my insurance re-enrollment is in effect--deductibles and out of pocket maximums to be met again. My body wasn't having any of it, either. The mind, well, it was making things hard all over. Needless to say, I set off to work with a morbid curiosity of whether I would make it through the day, or self destruct.

I played through the pain one more time, and while things did not go swimmingly, there was an improvement. I don't feel like imploding at the moment. This is a good thing. I have been good with my money, so while I may not have much to dick around with, I won't be tanking from these big bills. The rash that I have is not going away, but at least it may be my ticket to a leprosarium in beautiful Kalaupapa. My apologies to those suffering from Hansen's Disease. Leprosy jokes aside, my point is that I am looking for the brighter side of suffering. Sort of like the closing scene to Monty Python's "Life of Brian".

I can recognize when the day is getting better because I can tell people that I feel good without feeling like a lying sack of shit. At least six hours of my day were like that. It is a good thing that those six hours were the wrap up. That way I can trick myself into thinking that the whole day was good. It's all how you look at things, really. Try this for example: You eat a bunch of jelly beans and then you start to throw them up, only to then swallow it all back down in one giant acidic gulp. Well, a sorry way to look at this would to complain about almost throwing up and how bad the stomach acid burned your already tender esophagus. The better way to view this is to think of it as a jelly bean encore, with added zest! That's the way I chose to look at it. The fact that I was laying down on the couch when this all happened made it even more joyful.

Always look on the bright side of life! *whistles*

51 comments:

Diane Mandy said...

You'll have me humming that tune all day now! Thanks for that. You are a very strong person. I admire how well you are handling things.

The Grunt said...

Ha, I knew I could get it stuck in your head, Diane. Today is an improvement on yesterday, so I just have to take things a day at a time. Cliche, I know, but it's true.

Outdoorsy Girl said...

I am trying to be more positive and look at things your way, but what if I don't like jelly beans?

Okay...I am substituting jelly beans for Skittles and re-envisioning that example. Ahh, much better! Thanks for that great tip! ;)

I admire your attitude. It is very draining to remain positive during the battle. The fact that you continue to fight your battles in this manner is a testament as to how strong you are and an inspiration for those around you fighting their own battles.

Anonymous said...

I just skimmed your blog and was really impressed with your attitude and will to get better. Lots and lots of good thoughts and hugs go out to you.

Keshi said...

big pills? aww...let me give ya some Cosmo pills...check out my 'My Supermodel Moments' post. LOL!

HUGS ur a strong boy Grunty!
Keshi.

Photogirl said...

I don't think I'll ever be able to look at jelly beans the same way now...

;)

Your ability to "laugh it off" as such, is inspiring. I'm really sorry you are going through all of this, but it sure makes the thought of being 'all better' even that much more appealing, eh? The good news, is that you'll probably never take your good health for granted after all of this. I know that for me, a health scare really does wonders for my outlook on life.

The Grunt said...

O-Girl~ You don't like jelly beans, even Jelly Bellys?

Anonymous~ Well, thanks. I know that I will get better, it is just difficult to see through all the dust that has been kicked up from the battle. Staying positive is key.

Keshi~ Cosmo pills, eh? Do they get ya high?

Celeste~ Yes, you get it! I know that from your own health scare that you would. It is getting a close look at your mortality that does it. I laugh because I used to get angry, and that isolates. I don't like to be isolated now, so I laugh.

Clearlykels said...

I'm glad you aren't lying when you say that you're doing well now. That is wonderful.

"K" Fingerett said...

Glad things are looking up, Mr. Grunt Man ^_^

"...with added zest!" That had me going for a while. Nice one :P

You are a tough cookie, my friend.

::hugs::

*Looks to the right*

"The Grunt Store" ... I've been meaning to ask about that... When did you start it? and have you had any buyers???

Just wondering...

Peace, love and... zesty jelly beans?


~K

Christielli said...

Jelly bean encore.

Definitely a new twist on optimism.

Yay for lying on the couch. I just took up yoga, and the last pose is where you just lie flat on the mat. It's called the corpse pose, and I intend to incorporate it more into my daily life.

So yeah, yay for jelly beans and corpse poses.

The Grunt said...

Kels~ I try to be as honest as possible. Duplicity starts with the little things.

"K"~ I started the store at the end of September. Four people have purchased items from there: A Canadian, an Oregonian, a Brit, and a Texan. Sounds like the beginning of a joke. I started it because I mentioned the idea awhile back and it seemed like people liked the idea. I just figured that whoever bought the stuff would like it and would have a piece of me to show off. Four people are now showing the world their allegiance to the cause of Grunt and I think that kicks ass. I used the commissions from the sales to buy myself dinner and a movie.

Christielli~ Sounds like the premise for a low budget horror flick.

Autumn Storm said...

Much respect to you, Grunt, your attitude is amazing for any of us and at a time when you are battling against various elements, it is even more admirable. And all the while, making the rest of us smile (and quite often giggle) and inspiring us to as you so aptly quoted here look on the bright side. You are a star. :-)

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