Wednesday, September 12, 2007

Shotgun

Here come ol' flat top. He come grooving up slowly....

I think I came up with a great idea. It involves a helmet, a box, and a feral cat. Nope, I already tried that when I was fourteen and that cat scratched the hell out of my friend afterward.

Bad idea.

I think I might have blogged this one before, but what the hell. So, you are out in the woods and doing some tree hugging with a bunch of tree huggers, because that is what they all do (right). You find, after hugging a bunch of live trees, that it is just not cutting it. You need something else. That is when a fallen sitka spruce calls to you, asphyxiated and lifeless. The experience is pure pleasure; a joy beyond measure: you, sir/mam have loved a dead tree. Does this make you sick?

I want answers, but I'm not getting any.

This is a phrase that I tend to use when I'm really, really disappointed: It feels (felt) like losing (I lost) it to a peg-legged whore. I think it will totally catch on.

I was talking to a friend today and actually tested out a post idea on said person and now I can't friggin' remember what it was.

Clowns became officially scary after prohibition. I can't explain it too well, but I think it had something to do with people being sober for a change (yeah, that happened). Once you wake up to the fact that clowns are amazingly horrifying it doesn't matter how much you drink after. Those bastards will come after you with their pointy hats and polka dotted outfits.

Jesus wants me for a sunbeam.

Satan just wants me to be pancake eating champion of the world. I hear that fast women love pancake eating champions.

I saw a sign labeled "Discount Realty" and misread as "Discount Reality". It made more sense the first time I read it.

I still can't remember that thing I wanted to post about and it is bugging the hell outta me.

11 comments:

Tys on Ice said...

ahh random thoughts...thats always neat....did u finally remember what u wanted to say?

Clearlykels said...

Seriously, I've been thinking about pancakes for a few days. I might need to make that happen.

Mayden' s Voyage said...

You have no idea how much I laugh when I read you...I always have.
thanks :) Always good to be here :)~♥♥♥~

leelee said...

I swear..I love your freaking posts!!
I'm not kidding...GENIUS BOY!

goldennib said...

That thing with dead trees is just sick-o

; D

Clowns always make me think of John Wayne Gacy.

Christielli said...

Oh, you bet that Damien Rice is dreamy. He's Irish. Accents make any man dreamy. Women are so frickin' shallow. Anyhow, his music *is* good too, so you should check him out.

Oh, and women also love pancake eating champions too. ;)

Jules said...

Nope, not me... I don't go fast for a guy unless he's a waffle eating champion.

Outdoorsy Girl said...

"It feels (felt) like losing (I lost) it to a peg-legged whore." That's a great catch phrase! It should be included in your tee shirt line. But it does make me wonder how you know how that feels.

Did you remember your post idea? That would bug the crap out of me, too. Was it about time travel? Or perhaps it was the post about how you lost your virginity to a peg-legged whore.

The Grunt said...

Ty~ I finally did! Next week I will post it.

Kels~ Will you take me with?

Cora~ Aw, thanks!

Lee Lee~ I do my best.

Nessa~ I find ways of making you sick!

Christielli~ It seems inevitable then. I must check him out and then eat pancakes.

Jules~ You're sick!

O-Girl~ I don't recall anything about that night below the pier.

Crystal said...

a dead tree? that's sick man. next time, cut a hole in a cantalope. it has less rough edges and if you stick it in the microwave [FOR NO MORE THAN 30 SECONDS], it feels even better than a live tree.

Sun Follower said...

Clowns, Jesus, Satan, peg-legged whores... sounds like the party I went to last week.... or was that my family reunion?