Tuesday, September 18, 2007

Blog Post: Lost In Translation

There are some ideas that I have for blog posts that I just can't do. If I was vain enough to do vlogs on You Tube, then it might be different. Such is the case with this idea: Paul Stanley's "Do It" Yo-self Home Center.

Now if you were like me growing up you rolled your doobies and ate mac and cheese off of your "KISS ALIVE!!!" LP. I was only a wee bairn when it came out but later on in life I revisited my mad lust for the freaky monster guys in makeup. I really did love them when I was barely able to walk. I just didn't really know much more than that they looked awesome as hell--probably when they were doing god awful disco albums, no less. It took me until my teen years to go back and revisit my fascination for them, only then could I listen to them rock out.

Now we will get on with the post at hand. See, on "KISS ALIVE!!!" you get treated to Paul Stanley's concert banter and various hoots and hollers. Here are some memorable moments:
"Whoooooooweeeee, Firehouse!"~Paul Stanley (Star Man).

"Come on, lets see your hands. Whooooo!"~Paul Stanley.

"BABY!!!"~Paul Stanley.

"RAWRRRR!!!" *spits blood-breathes fire*~Gene Simmons (Fire Demon).
"Meow!"~Peter Criss (Space Cat).

Ace Frehley (Alien) never really said much other than what he said to himself, which usually went along the lines of, "Oh boy, am I shit faced! Oh god, here comes another fucking solo (mouths twangy double bend) Bweeeeeeer-neeeeeer-neeeeeeer....deeedle-deeedle-deeeeeeeee!"

Okay, I've gone off the rails again. My point is that I am too familiar with KISS and my inside humorous musings on them get lost on most people, let alone where I am limited to typing about it.

So, here is my little skit that features a famous line from the live version of "Deuce" from the "ALIVE!!!" album where Mr. Stanley exclaims "DO IT!!!" It's my favorite moment from a live album ever because he sounds so damn earnest, like "DO IT" or else.

The Skit (Either takes place as a TV ad or radio spot):

"Hi, I'm Paul Stanley and I've got the solution to all your home improvement problems, baby! You just got to whoooooooo-wheeeee, DO IT yo-self!!! Say you got a leaky faucet and that shit is going all over the place. Just come down to Paul Stanley's "DO IT" Yo-Self Home Improvement Center and "DO IT!!!"

Yeah, I kind of go on and on with decks and sprinkler systems after that. I'll spare you. The thing is that you'd have to know what he sounds like in order to get this and even still you'd probably think I'm 'tarded.


Nessa / Goldennib said...

Many people are mad for KISS. You'd have a big video following.

cindra said...

I get it! I get it! I was in love with that man at one point in time and saw them in concert, too! I now am in love with Gene Simmons and his family.

cindra said...

Grunty-It was such a joy to hear you impersonate P.S. in person...well...over the phone lines at least...thanks for that. You make me laugh heartily and looooooong!

EBEZP said...

Kiss are brilliant and always have been and they do have a big following! Love the post!

Sorry not been around much but I've been away, how are you doing?

Scary Monster said...

Now Me knows why he done make so much money, that Paul Stanley fella. He not only make Rock N Roll. He make a complete line of power tools as well.

What genius! To combine destruction and cunstruction into on business.

"Whoooooooweeeee, STOMP!"

Sun Follower said...

Is Gene Simmons or the Kiss Army at all involved in this?

Outdoorsy Girl said...

I get it! Yay! (I love when that happens!)

KISS f'ing rocks! I LOVE them!

cindra said...

grunty-all i can say is that hubby is lucky i never did done metch ya first!!! xoxox

Logophile said...

tee heee heee

Clearlykels said...

Umm, so, I grew up watching Family Ties and had a crush on Alex P. Keaten. I think this might be over my head :-)

The Grunt said...

Nessa~ You think? I was thinking of just appealing to the Patrick Stewart fanclub hotties.

Cindra~ Glad you got it and it was fun to get to actually try my Paul Stanley impersonation out on someone.

Ebezp~ I've been doing fairly well considering what I'm going through. I wish my work was better. I'm kind of stuck there for now while my health is an issue do to keeping health insurance.

Scary~ Paul Stanley and I totally need to get together on this idea and rake in the bucks.

Sun~ They are behind everything. Scary, I know.

O-Girl~ I knew you would.

Cindra~ Why, you just done made me blush!

Logo~ Why, you just done made me go "tee-hee"!

Kels~ You are not alone in that. I had a crush on Valerie. I see a DVD night in our future;)

Jules said...

It's the memorable moments that make a band worthwhile, isn't it?

The Grunt said...

Jules~ True dat.