Now if you were like me growing up you rolled your doobies and ate mac and cheese off of your "KISS ALIVE!!!" LP. I was only a wee bairn when it came out but later on in life I revisited my mad lust for the freaky monster guys in makeup. I really did love them when I was barely able to walk. I just didn't really know much more than that they looked awesome as hell--probably when they were doing god awful disco albums, no less. It took me until my teen years to go back and revisit my fascination for them, only then could I listen to them rock out.
Now we will get on with the post at hand. See, on "KISS ALIVE!!!" you get treated to Paul Stanley's concert banter and various hoots and hollers. Here are some memorable moments:
"Whoooooooweeeee, Firehouse!"~Paul Stanley (Star Man).
"Come on, lets see your hands. Whooooo!"~Paul Stanley.
"RAWRRRR!!!" *spits blood-breathes fire*~Gene Simmons (Fire Demon).
"Meow!"~Peter Criss (Space Cat).
Ace Frehley (Alien) never really said much other than what he said to himself, which usually went along the lines of, "Oh boy, am I shit faced! Oh god, here comes another fucking solo (mouths twangy double bend) Bweeeeeeer-neeeeeer-neeeeeeer....deeedle-deeedle-deeeeeeeee!"
Okay, I've gone off the rails again. My point is that I am too familiar with KISS and my inside humorous musings on them get lost on most people, let alone where I am limited to typing about it.
So, here is my little skit that features a famous line from the live version of "Deuce" from the "ALIVE!!!" album where Mr. Stanley exclaims "DO IT!!!" It's my favorite moment from a live album ever because he sounds so damn earnest, like "DO IT" or else.
The Skit (Either takes place as a TV ad or radio spot):
"Hi, I'm Paul Stanley and I've got the solution to all your home improvement problems, baby! You just got to whoooooooo-wheeeee, DO IT yo-self!!! Say you got a leaky faucet and that shit is going all over the place. Just come down to Paul Stanley's "DO IT" Yo-Self Home Improvement Center and "DO IT!!!"
Yeah, I kind of go on and on with decks and sprinkler systems after that. I'll spare you. The thing is that you'd have to know what he sounds like in order to get this and even still you'd probably think I'm 'tarded.