Monday, September 24, 2007

Nothing in particular

So, I've been working on the T-Shirt dealy and hopefully within a month I will have a few items to sell, including some hot women's underwear (not kidding). I tried to use my little red dude for part of a design and noticed that the top of his head is flat. Oh well. You all are just going to have to live with that.

I had a thought about the Anti-Pasta the other day. The Anti-Pasta is the Anti-Christ of the religious movement Pastifarianism, which are followers of the Flying Spahgetti Monster. I was just wondering how much cheese, artichoke, and salami one must eat in order to turn to the dark side, 'cause I'm totally on my way.

I just thought I'd try something bold today.

How many times have you asked yourself, "Is that my arm I'm laying on", and you are the only one in bed.

Clyde turns thirty in November. I can tell he is having an age crisis because he seems to be falling apart all over the place. Even though I am currently in for repairs I've managed to keep Clyde running through all of this crap. I can't remember being this way when I turned thirty. Clyde is being such a whiny douche. I don't think a pair of fuzzy dice is going to fix this.

Satan isn't red. He told me so. Purple is more his style.

Jesus was a big fan of Donkey racing. Back before his ministry he had a kick ass ass that was all tricked out and shit, doing wheelies 'n' stuff. That was the real reason he had to leave home--his ass was just too big for such a small town. Really, small town folk just don't understand a boy's big dreams. Fortunately, Jesus' ass was stolen by some Roman pricks and that is when he turned to religion. You all thought he was boring too. Shame.

I just may find myself in hell for that last bit.

Shalom.

12 comments:

Nessa said...

We a boy's dreams are crushed he often turns to religion.

Logophile said...

Shalom
you look good in bold

The Grunt said...

Nessa~ I don't know how many times that has happened to me.

Logo~ Thanks! I wonder what I'd look in italics. I better start leaning.

cindra said...

Poor Clyde. I'm NEVER thought that about laying on my arm.

What is hell?

The Grunt said...

Cindra~ Hell is a place somewhere in the Rust Belt of America or wherever presidential primaries are held, such as Iowa.

EBEZP said...

Just popping by to see if you are doing ok and religion and spaghetti monsters and being bold. You're ok!
You will go to hell for the last bit but don't worry all those that laughed will be there with you!!

Jules said...

Can you make tank tops?

Ugh, there's not much worse than a whiny little snivelling truck dripping oil all over your driveway. C'mon Clyde... if you smarten up, I promise to come down there and refill ALL of your liquids...

egan said...

This post was quite random and therefore very much to my liking. I love the part thrown in here about your arm.

Sun Follower said...

In high schoolwe had "donkey basketball" games to raise money for the letterman's club. Lots of donkeys - lots of shit on the gym floor - funny to watch faculty be thrown off the donkeys. I had no idea was having a religious experience.

The Grunt said...

Ebezp~ Yeah, I've not been that active outside of work. It's been kind of tough lately. Thanks for paying me a visit, mate!

Jules~ I can do tank tops!

Egan~ It was a spooky morning when that happened to my arm.

Sun~ Every post of mine aims to be a religious experience.

Ziah said...

Hi.. just dropped by.. thank you for that iconoclastic revelation. Gave me some perspective I could use..:)Good fun.

Does that give Ass-ass-ins salvation? Ok, sorry, that was a saaad crack, even by my usually low standards! :(

Karyn said...

I vote pyjama tap pants.

And I don't believe in hell. Or - perhaps more accurately - I think this might be it.

Go easy on Clyde. When I turned thirty I started getting wrinkles and zits at the same time plus I was pregnant and tired and throwing up all the time. Thirty is the great divide between girls and women. I think. I might also think that about forty in a few years.

Fuck.

Fuzzy dice wouldn't fix me either; then or now.

Fuck.