Thursday, December 21, 2006

Wonder Bread: It's not just food--it's a way of life!

Wonder Bread walks into a bar and notices a lonely girl sitting on a stool drinking her Red Stripe. Wonder Bread knows that this girl has got something serious going on in her head. All the other guys are just staring at her tits. Wonder Bread approaches this girl and strikes up some conversation.

Wonder Bread: "Hi, my name's Wonder, Wonder Bread. But, you can call me Butter Top. And you are?"

Girl: "Uh, you can call me Yogi."

Wonder Bread: "As in bear?"

Girl: "Ha-ha, yeah, as in bear--long story....Hey, I like your bag and twist lock, btw. Green is my favorite color."

Wonder Bread: "Ah, thanks. You know, hardly anyone comments on my green twist lock. I usually go for the white one for everyday and red, for when I'm going out on the town. Oh god, I'm such a dork."

Girl: "What?"

Wonder Bread: "Well, here I am yammering on about my twist lock and I totally don't say anything about your eyes. You've got great eyes, bonita."

Girl: "Shut up."

Wonder Bread: "Mind if I sit with you?"

Girl: "I dunno. Are you man enough?"

Wonder Bread: "Another Red Stripe for the lady and a glass of buttermilk for me."

The rest is sandwich making history.


NYD said...

No soap radio.
I enjoyed reading it, but I'm not certain I understand it. Will return to read it again when I'm not drinking....

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Crystal said...

Red Stripe, huh? I like her.

Too bad they don't sell wonderbread with green twist ties in texas.

Melliferous Pants said...

I see that Wonder Bread is "GIANT"...has he been using Advanced Gain Pro to increase his size and reliability?

Scott said...

Um okay, right.

Keshi said...

Wonderf-ful aha ;-)

hey Grunt u have a great Christmas and a fantastic break!

btw I have put up pics of myself many times b4 in my blog :) Check out here:


Sun Follower said...

When I was young...Barbara Ann Bread was the bread of choice at my grammar school... Wonder Bread... meh!

cindra said...

are you trying to enlarge your penis?

Christielli said...

LOL That was too funny. How do you come up with this stuff?

Your little story made me think of one of my favourite jokes ever.

A cheese sandwich walks into a bar. He asks the bartender for a scotch on the rocks. The bartender says "Sorry, we don't serve food here."

cindra said...

Are you done christmas shopping yet?

LindzyPinzy said...

ahahah what a prefect post to come back to!! hhahahahha

happy holidays grunt hope you have a good break and some good fun and relaxation

Candace said...

All I can think about is that the bread twist ties are colour coded to show what day of the week it was baked.

Monday = Blue, Tuesday = Green, Thursday = Red, Friday = White, Saturday = Yellow.

If you forget the color code, it's alphabetic. MTRFS/BGRWY.

Yes, I know I'm a geek.

The Grunt said...

NYD~ Maybe it makes perfect sense when under the influence. Or, maybe I am providing a fun, whacked-out post on the surface, with a special hidden message for someone. Just don't drive.

Anonymous~ Have you been trying to get into my pants?

Chica~ Yes, you would probably get on well with this girl. For a state that is so big, you'd think that there would be Wonder Bread with green twist ties. You're still young and good looking; plus, you have 49 other states to choose from.

Pants~ I think so. I don't know why I have been singled out by anonymous, but maybe anonymous is just eager to help.

Scott~ Yes, this happens once in awhile. It will all make sense after a bender.

Keshi~ You are a mind reader and I will gladly look at any pictures that you want to share with me. You are very photogenic. Merry Christmas back at ya, Keshi.

Sun~ I am going to have to try some of that Barbara Ann bread. I'm thinking PB&J with one sandwich sans crusts, and the other sporting a tan (toasted).

Cindra~ I think any man is trying/hoping, even though it isn't the most important aspect of love making. Guys just divine power from that stuff, and wonder, even if they are already huge, just what it would be like to be even bigger. I once tried Dianetics to, you know. That stuff is a crock of shit.

Christielli~ LOL! I love silly jokes. The sillier the better. I honestly don't know how I come up with this stuff. It is who I am. If you were to hang out long enough with me for me to be comfortable, you'd be treated to some insane humor and thoughts.

Cindra~ I am not. Bleh.

Lindzy~ I am happy to have you back. Thanks, and I hope "Santa" brings all that you need and some of what you want.

Candace~ Geeking is allowed in Gruntonia. I encourage it. This information is actually very cool.

Gentleman-hobbs said...

I dunno but I think this anon only comes on to us to empty our wallets afterwards.

He's one of the tits and tails brigade, you know the sort the tallywacker of a man on the and the torso of a filly to use the vernacular, one of those lay-dee boyzzz. In short a cad and a bounder of the first degree, who should therefore be thrashed to within an inch of its life

Gentleman-hobbs said...

PS Purely in the interests of science did the girl swallow or did the bread get out of it alive?

The Grunt said...

G-hobbs, I think you are right about this sodding anonymous bloke.

About the other thing, a good loaf of bread never toasts and tells about what goes on in the spread.