Tuesday, October 28, 2008

I had a day

That's what I had, all right. Well, some stuff did happen. I went to the dentist and got some work done on my teeth. The right side of my mouth was all numb and my jaw would sometimes not close all the way. Later on in the day I found out why--when the anesthetic wore off. My cheek inside my mouth was getting in the way of my teeth closing. Fun. Now the right side of my mouth is like hamburger meat.

I forgot to take my anxiety/depression meds today and I was a bit on edge. I guess this means that I am officially old. I need one of those "SMTWTHFS" medication dispensers. Go on. Make fun of me.

I watched this old horror movie that was on DVD. It wasn't anything well known. The transfer was bad, so the picture and especially the sound was poor. I liked the actors, the direction, and locations, but for the life of me, I could not understand anything that was being said. It was like an all "Peanuts" adult cast. Is it sad that I watched the whole thing anyway?

I voted today. Take advantage of the early vote if you can. The lines are way short. I sort of feel bad when it comes to voting whether or not to let some judges keep their jobs because I have no idea who they are. Typically, I vote to let them all keep their jobs, but then I feel like a chump. This is when I go over the names and see which one I figure must be an asshole based solely on the limited information given on the ballot and then vote "no". Yeah, I have that kind of power.

My work phone's wallpaper is a picture of our payroll director. He was the one that did this. He's kind of a dick but I still like him. Sometimes there are people who are total dicks but you find that you like them no matter how big of a dick they are. Yes, I just said that you all like dicks. Some of you are all right with that and some of you are having a hard time right now coming to grips with that fact. Sorry, I am not able to help you further with your problems.

I have had a rather long streak of feeling unsexy. My aura must have a conjoined dead fetus attached to itself or something. Maybe I should just try "whipping it out" and see if I get any bites. What do you all think?

Is it still to late to run off and join the circus? I want to grow a big, twirly mustache and wear some kind of leopard skin strong man suit. Oooh, and lift barbells that have globe-like weights on their ends that say "500 lbs" and stuff. Oh, and I'd also lift those trapezoidal weights with the ring on the end that are like 1,000 pounds, bend iron bars, and get mauled wrestling a bear. I'd have a midget wife and a lobster boy, boy. Heaven isn't too far away.

I bet you never thought I'd be quoting Warrant lyrics on this blog, did you.

8 comments:

Julie Schuler said...

The real lobster boy was from Pittsburgh, Grady Stiles was his name and he was a dick. He abused his family, shot and killed a prospective son-in-law, and his family eventually hired some one to rub him out. But I like him anyway.

megatropolis said...

It is a little sad that you finished your crap film, but it's a good that you're not a quitter.

You know, I think you are right about this dick thing. Sometimes I like big dicks, sometimes small... The dicks can be so dickish that they win you over ;)

What... not feeling sexy? I think a good whip-it-out IS the cure. Make sure to do it in front of elderly women. That should bring your sexy back.

Scott said...

Dude, the dentist blows. They are just sadists and that is all there is to it.

Whip it out yo!

Chris said...

Just wipping it out is not recommended. You'll really feel unsexy when you're in lock down.

Christielli said...

I totally need to go to the dentist and still have done nothing about it yet. But I have more pressing matters like making a hair appt to attend to first.

I would recommend some retail therapy. The only thing that you should whip out is your wallet and buy yourself some cool stuff. :)

Outdoorsy Girl said...

All I can say is that at least it is Warrant lyrics you are throwing out there and not tying in some Devo along with your whole to whip it out or not to whip it out question.

The Grunt said...

Julie~ Those are the kinds of fun facts that I could consume till the cows come home.

Meggypoo~ I'll do anything you say because you are a trusted friend and have my best interests at heart.

Scott~ I graduated high school with my dentist. I am just so glad that I never made fun of him back then. Being in the position I was in is not a good place to have an enemy with a drill to my teeth.

Chris~ Am I weird that I actually have anxiety attacks over the hypothetical situation of having to go toilet in front of the others in the holding cell?

Christielli~ I do need some new threads. My problem is that I always buy something made by Dickies.

O-Girl~ But I like Devo.

Jules said...

I'm just stuck with the imagery of the the whipping it out bit... ummm.... yeeeeaaahhh...