Sunday, October 19, 2008

How come...

...Peanuts in the shell are like ten times better than unshelled peanuts?

...My back hates my guts and call me things like "pussy" (behind itself, of course), so I try to lift heavy things (like a full-size truck bed) and blow it out?

...George Washington didn't have a tiny woodpecker living in his teeth?

...People just can't be happy when they've got it so good?

...I can't have excellent bow staff skillz?

...Killer robot wolverines won't descend upon my enemies and yours?

...God allows stupid people?

...People get mad at me for making fun of the stupid guy at work?

...Banjos are the soundtrack for rural males with a penchant for forcible sodomy?

...Grocery store cakes and confections never seem to use anything other than flour, shortening, sugar, and food coloring?

...New Zealand doesn't have a space program?

...Science hasn't figured out a better way of cleaning up after a dump?

...I seem to attract crazy people?

...The guy making my sandwich last week responded to my question, "Can I have parmesan cheese on my sandwich (meatball sub)," with, "I agree"?

...I have to work tomorrow, or ever?

How come?


Anonymous said...

Just cuz, THAT'S why :) Think of it this way... without these questions, you wouldn't have anything good to blog about :)

Diane Mandy said...

How come Megatropolis just stole my comment?

Jay said...

I'm still holding out for the three seashell method for wiping, a la Demolition Man.

Julie Schuler said...

How come no one practices the sort of taxidermy where you dress up little rodents and pose them as if they are having a tea party? How come I woefully lack a decent collection of wet specimens? Indeed, the queries never end.

Outdoorsy Girl said...

How come you think so much? ;)

The Grunt said...

Meggypoo~ Oh, sure! Take all the fun out of it:p

Diane~ She stole it because, that's why!

Jay~ I left that movie really stumped about that one and thought about it heavily for a few days. It finally dawned on me how those three seashells worked. I think the human race is now finally ready for such a thing.

Julie~ Did I ever tell you how awesome you are?

O-Girl~ I think too much in order to get out of doing things.

NYD said...

Listen, if you come up with an answer to any of those questions I will lend you my tuxedo for your trip to Oslo or stockholm to recieve your prize

NYD said...

P.S. I make fun of stupid people too. That's why God put them here.

Scott said...

Too funny.

You really do have to wonder why New Zealand has not spent the money on a good solid space program though don't you?

Keshi said...

How come Grunty hardly visits me now?

HUGS! hows u? long time!

**God allows stupid people?

Cos there's no God.


Chandra said...

How come peanuts in the shell always taste better at a baseball game??

Sun Follower said...


(how's that for obscure?)

The Grunt said...

NYD~ I'd enjoy making fun of stupid people with you, but not in a gay way.

Scott~ I'd be too busy helicopter skiing if I lived in New Zealand to be lobbying for a space program.

Keshi~ There is so a god. Want proof? He made your beautiful face. I haven't been webbernetting much because of crap pulling me this way and that. I'll be visiting soon:)

Chandra~ Hot dogs are the same way.

Sun~ Is But Rather related to Dan?

Karyn said...

I absolutely can't stop laughing. But I know how come.