Wednesday, May 21, 2008

Tweet-tweet! AAAAAAAAAAAAAARGH!!!

I've got this bird that sits on a branch near my bedroom window that bursts into full on, piercing, "TWEET, FUCKING TWEET" every morning around 5 o'clock. The bird's voice is actually very beautiful, but not at that time of the morning. I've got these crusty ear plugs sitting on my night stand as my only defense. They are too uncomfortable to wear all night long, so I do this mad grab for them in the dark of early morning every time this little shit starts up. Getting them into my ears quickly, before I'm fully awake, can be hard. Plus, I need to clear off this night stand because one time I shoved a cough drop into my ear by accident.

I have a different work schedule that puts my bedtime around 1:30 AM, so waking up at five in the morning is not fun. I am not able to pull the same shit I could back in college. I need my eight hours of sleep, when I can get them. Mr. Birdie McTweet-Tweet is starting to drive me batty-go-losehismind.

I've had all the thoughts of how to terminate this pest, but I just don't have the heart to actually do it. I am now choosing to look at the situation as that of a friend coming by to say hello--a retarded friend that doesn't know that 5 AM is to damned early to sing your effin' heart out.

Maybe I just need a good supply of "throwing" cats handy by my window. That is a breed of cat, right?

8 comments:

NYD said...

Did you get someone to lick the coughdrop outta yer ear.

The Grunt said...

No. It would've been nice, though. It was still in the wrapper, so no sticky mess.

Outdoorsy Girl said...

I hope you don't mind but I am having a good laugh at your expense. Well it's more like I am laughing WITH you because I can relate to your annoying problem with your retarded friend. I had a birdie friend who liked to visit me too at ungodly hours in the morning.

Anonymous said...

We had a mocking bird that used to sit on the telephone wires outside our house and sing at the ungodly hour of 2 am. My dad took a sling shot to it - but it didn't work. It just flew up the wire out of sling shot range :) Leigh

Julie Schuler said...

We have all sorts of birdy families in the eaves of our house. But I'm almost always up before they start singing. I have found an exceptional number of dead birds this year. Fallen out of nests. My dead bird pile is pretty big. I'm a compulsive bone, nest, eggshell collector.

Christielli said...

Hmmm... when there are noises that I don't want to hear in the morning, I usually put on my headphones to drown out the sounds... and listen to enjoyable tunes. :)

The Grunt said...

O-Girl~ I don't mind. In fact, I will do a crazy laugh with you: HAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHA....AHAHAHAHAHAAha!

Leigh~ Mockingbirds are smart. I am not surprised that it razzed your dad like that.

Julie~ I want to know what your "found" art would be like, knowing your collecting tendencies.

Christielli~ That is a good choice. My problem is that I tend to stay awake when I listen to music. It's weird, I know. Usually, noises aren't what wake me up. Mainly, I am light sensitive. This robin (yes, I've finally identified the little guy) has a high enough chirp to make my brain go, "What in the?" and then I wake up.

Photogirl said...

eag plugs. they are my savior. I have the same problem. effing birds!