Tuesday, May 06, 2008

A little something from when I was young

I think we all can remember about a thousand silly things we've done when we were little. When you're young it's kind of the point, to be silly. One of the things that comes to my mind right now is how I misused a certain slur as a kid. Well, to tell you the truth, if any word sounded like a swear, I'd use it plenty before I really knew what it meant.

So, here I am, a kid, riding my orange Huffy P.O.S. BMX bike (the first "post training wheels" bike of mine) and the chain falls off. I wanted to impress all of my friends, so I used a swear that I had heard my big brother and his friends utter once. I shouted at my bike "You dirty slut!" All of my friends took notice. They were all impressed. A couple of them had heard the swear slut before, and I don't think any of them knew what it meant either because from then on we all were calling things dirty sluts.

If one of us was pissed off because we hurt ourselves on something, we'd call the monkey bars a dirty slut. If some old dude was giving us shit for walking on his lawn we'd yell at him that he was a dirty slut. Hell, we called each other dirty sluts. We also incorporated some odd combinations with the word, like "Shitty ass slut", "Damn ass slut", and "Go to hell, bastard slut". I can only imagine what the people who overheard us were thinking about it all.

Eventually, my friend's older brother pissed us off and we called his motorcycle a "cheap piece of ass slut" and he started laughing at us hysterically, then he and his friends proceeded to kick our asses. After the ass kicking, which included a dog shit facial for one unfortunate kid, the big brother set us straight on what the slur "slut" meant. We all felt pretty dumb, but after that we just used it more. Only now, we knew how to use it, and that is the story of how I was grounded for two weeks for calling a neighbor lady a slut.

All right, I am off to order a new set of pickups for my Stratocaster "Black Betty". It is my birthday present for me, a day and a half early. You all have a great day!


Crystal said...

that is a hilarious story!

shitty ass slut. going to be my word of the day.

did you know that they have pubic hair dye that is called Fun Betty? Their ad reads something like "My husband just loves my blue betty!" i guess the majority of women have black betty's.

whoa black betty bambalam

NYD said...

It's gonna be a long while before the urge to call everything that bothers me a slut of one sort or another dissapears.

Have a happy b-day.
Life plus one!

Autumn Storm said...

Scary they may be, but your dreams at least are interesting. Me, I dream of usually the most boring thing that I did on any given day. :-) Great kid story. :-D Hilarious, and disgusting (facial). 3 days only per month is, well, wow. Needs must perhaps, but you are indeed a fighter. Quick catch-up, moved, again (in my best Gump), but am settled in once again now and looking forward to the next post. Happy day to you. :-)

Clearlykels said...

ha! That's almost better than my 3 year old godson calling his mom a 'damnit'!

Clearlykels said...

ha! That's almost better than my 3 year old godson calling his mom a 'damnit'!

Outdoorsy Girl said...

Hilarious story! It is kind of like the "Bastard Batallion" from SNL where they all called each other bastard. Only you kids were the Slut Batallion.

Diane Mandy said...

That was hilarious! I wonder what kind of reception that would get here in Germany? I shoud try it!

Anonymous said...

I remember getting in trouble with my nephews for saying the "s" word. Turns out "stupid" is a bad word in their house :) Leigh

Jules said...

I'm sure you'll be posting a birthday post, but since you haven't yet, I want to wish you a happy birthday in here TODAY! MWAH!