Wednesday, October 25, 2006

Just a post in passing

I have been mui busy today. I have been working hard on some recordings and I need to wrap all that stuff up because it could just keep going and going.

Some of you are probably wondering what in the hell that green buggy is pictured to the right. That is a John Deere Gator 6x4, diesel. I have one for my work. They are fun as hell and mega useful. Today I picked me up a nice tall blonde gal, our community relations manager. I was pretty chuffed having seeing how she was responding to it all, and so gave her a nice long ride. I was tempted to take the Gator off some awesome jumps to impress her. She had a lot of fun, and I think she is finally going to grow a pair and get rid of the sad-sack ex-fiance/on and off again boyfriend just so she can go cruisin some more with her new mate--me!

There's another lady at work that every time I see her she giggles uncontrollably--real high-pitched too. I love it, because I can start pecking at her with silly remarks and almost make her hyper ventilate until she faints. She's another looker with brown hair and hazel eyes--great combo. But, she is married. Drat!

The lady that runs our mail room has confessed to me that she had an erotic dream about me. She is married too. She said that in dream world the rules are different and that she can get it on with strapping young studs such as I. She then said that she was very married after licking her lips a bit and giving me the thrice over. That one was pretty great, but now I am a bit nervous to be alone in the same room with her. Kidding! Naw, she's cool.

Now here's where it gets strange.

guy is back following me around. I found out that he now works in our mainframe. He cornered me the other day and asked me if I were married, then what I like to do for fun. He doesn't look like it, but he's 60 and single (I thought he was younger). He was asking me all this stuff like if I wanted to come over and see his dogs, then he pulls out a big freakin' tazer, scarier than the last one and starts zapping it in my face. He then rolls back his sleeves and shows me the scars where he's tried it out on himself. After that, he pulled out a Saturday Night Special out of his boot and just held it there, twisting it around so that the nickel finish would glimmer. He then started going on about his 50 calibers and I told him I had to get going.

I think I am going to need the help of "Grunt's Angels" to protect me from this crazy sonovabitch.


Crystal said...

let me at him.

Jules said...

Grunty's Angels... *smirk* Sure, babe - we'll protect you! But just in case, you better keep that handy little green machine within arms reach for a quick get away!

Scott said...

K, that is a little crazy. At least he does not work in the mail room, you see a guy with a gun in a mail room you get the hell out of there.


Melliferous Pants said...

The last erotic dream I had about a co-worker was a nightmare. I certainly didn't tell the upper management dude that was featured and I got all tongue tied every time I saw him. He no longer works in my office. Dammit.

vera said...

So yah... You do have a way of attracting all sorts of people... from the mentally unstable to the uber high maintenance to the scarier than a smokey mountain innkeeper... let's just say, i wouldn't want to travel through eastern europe with you!!! then again... maybe i do... *hands you a copy of "Hostel"*
a day in the life of grunt-dude is never boring, that's for damn sure...
and you can just be thankful that he didn't show you what he's got in his pants... at least, not yet...

The Grunt said...

Crystal~ You got it. Of course I would want you to bring back up. Steph's pretty tough, bring her...oh, and Ham. Sheesh, just bring the damn calvary.

Jules~ Yeah, I needs all the helps I kin get. Why I just typed that all out like that, I don't know.

Scott~ Even though our mailroom lady is a short and sweet little thang, she looks pretty damn tough and has a temper. I think there is something to what you say for sure.

Pants~ I never seem to have many nasty co-worker dreams. I tend to pick out random women from my day. But, I definitely know who I would dream about from my work. Hubba hubba!

Vera~ I know you. What does that say? Tee hee! I wouldn't have it any other way, though.

cindra said...

Eeeek. If you are a freak magnet...considering I like to hang around here, what does that make me???

Karyn said...

Holy freakshow.

Stick to hanging out with your married gal pal with the erotic dreams or picking up blondes on your John Deere.


Logophile said...

I would help but I am too busy laughing.

goldennib said...

Jeez. i'm sending you a Strek-style sheild. You'll feel it bump into your noggin' around 11:07pm your time. Just snap your fingers and it will surround and protect you. (This device is not UL rated, does not stop bullets or hold any sort of warrenty. Statements made in this comment section have not been tested or approved by the FDA.)

cash said...

Hey ... Tom Jones ... errrr, I mean Mr. Grunt ... quit trying to church it up by being all discreet. We know you get women. Scott and I are the only men you even know, and you only keep us around for diversity.

P.S. If it comes right down to it with the crazy geezer, shoot first. If it was okay for Han Solo, it is okay for you.

Outdoorsy Girl said...

I came here with my own comment, but Cash's comment has distracted me into fits of laughter. I'll go with what he said.

We know that you score big with the chicks so stop playin' us. And whatever is okay with Han Solo, should, indeed, be okay for the Grunt.

Christielli said...

lol @ Tom Jones! Too funny.

You need to get a clicker like Nick Lachey has in that Axe commercial. (I hope you've seen it.) And no, I don't like Nick Lachey. But it is a funny commercial.

The Grunt said...

Cindra~ That makes you cool!

Karyn~ I'll gladly take your advice.

Logo~ I know you are and it makes me feel very sad inside.

Nessa~ I was wondering what that thing was and where it came from. Thanks!

Cash~ I have loads of guy friends, honest! I keep you and Scott around because I like you guys. I think Chris and JJ come here too, so I got that going for me. All your other observations just confuse me. Gee, like I know anything about that stuff (going to hell for sure now).

O-Girl~ There's scoring and then there's winning the championship. I am in it for the ring, baby.

Christielli~ I am flipping through my memory banks right now and nothing is coming up, but I will watch for it now.

goldennib said...

Boy, was I tired last night. Half of what I wrote made no sense whatever.