Thursday, October 05, 2006

TIGF! (That's Incredibly Gay Friday): Trying to find a reason for gay

Yeah, wouldn't it be hilarious if you could do this and find out. But, isn't this what people try and do? Can't people accept that some people are and that is the end of the story. I understand the scientific community and their stake in it, but when people start looking for origins, there are some that either want to obscure the facts, or spin them in their favor. Duh! Yeah, we all know this. Big Deal. I just think it is incredibly gay that people will take this info to "cure" people. There is no cure, unless you want to something totally diabolical and kill all gays. I wonder how often such horrible notions run through the minds of men.

If you have beliefs that being gay is wrong, then that is fine. I just think that the expectations some believers have are unrealistic. I think a person can suppress their sexuality enough to conform to some standard, but it will be an unrelenting challenge. If you are gay and want to live in a way that does not allow you to express your true sexuality, fine. I can respect that. If you are not gay, but think that gays are totally changeable and they only need pray hard enough, time to step out of the prayer circle and back into reality. I think there is more to it than that, but some people really want to believe that is all there is to it.

I can remember church folk coming to my house and telling my dad all he needed to do to overcome his mental illness was to pray, repent, or read the bible more. I remember as a kid witnessing a church leader coming into my house and berating my ill father in front of all of us for being a fat loser and that all would change if he chose a righteous life (I have since been filled with quiet rage for such men).

My dad is about the most honest and moral man I know. He has faults, weaknesses, and his illnesses, but did his best considering. There was no amount of religion that was going to cure him. I think in the right application it can be a big help, though. But, my point is that ignorance has led, and still leads, to the suffering of many. Am I gay? No. Do I know someone who is? I do, and his "righteous" family has done a good job of letting him rot away. He has HIV and you'd think that they'd try to take care of him. But the title of "gay son" is too much for them to handle. It saddens me.

Really, if there were a cut and dry test for gayness, people would abuse it. If they happen to come out with one, though, it should look exactly like the one depicted in this Addams Family pic.


goldennib said...

Some people are so sanctimonious. Whatever happened to not throwing the first stone? Whatever happened to the Good Samaritan? Oh, we only pick and choose the stories we follow?

Clearlykels said...

Nothing makes me happier than a post about acceptance. You are right, a test like this would be abused. Plus, sexuality is nobody's business. I am sad for your friends whose family is neglecting him. I am sad for you having to watch someone who is technically respected say stuff like that to your dad. I think it is very wrong. Just look at how much stronger it has made you. You are amazing.

Mayden's Voyage said...

I can't imagine rejecting one of my kids for ANY reason.
Not all love is unconditional- I know that...but family love should be.
And once you've experienced that kind of love- you discover you can love other people that way too. A pastor or preacher should LOVE his flock first and teach by example. And us too...our actions should speak louder than our words.
A pot roast, a hug and a prayer say more to me than any sermon.
And all 3 are things that can be given without a fuss. Let me be a giver- I don't want to condem anyone.

It's not our place to judge anyway- it's only our place to love...and take care of those in our charge.

Hugs Grunt! Great post :)

Photogirl said...

Great post buddy! I remember watching a movie about a guy who was gay and went to the doctor to try and be 'cured.' Its so sad that we can't (as a society) just accept that people are who they are and leave it at that. There's no need to know WHY, we need to focus more on just accepting what IS.

Logophile said...

say it,
you know you're right.

moderator said...

Okay, okay, I have to defend science on this point. Science doesn't look for answers to the origin of homosexuality for academic reasons or a cure, but because it is a political issue. In fairness, you have to also look to gay people for making it a political issue. Either the government stays out of our personal lives or it doesn't, but we can't have it both ways as a society.

I made a gay Friday post too! But mine is about some German guy who let a cokehead jump off the balcony during their gay orgy.

So, yeah, a little more refined and sensitive than yours. :-)

Queue_t said...

Man this is a very well done post.

I tend to agree with moderator that the gay folk can not have it both ways- ( an I have gay folk in my life) my brother tends to make it into a political issue and it is not cool.

as Far as my bro is concerned my parents gave him up long ago, but he really did it himself. he needs some help and he is not o.k. by any stretch of the imagination. He is mentally not well and he now is HIV+ with some cancers too- a very bad deal for a young man. I struggle constantly with how best to help, but there isn't much I can do, be a friend and a sister and listen and offer hospitality when I can. He has had a good partner who supports him, but he is now so ill mentally that is being shot to hell by him and in jepardy of him turning his support away cause he really is not o.k.

sorry didn't mean to ramble on so long. I love your TIGF the most ! QT

Sun Follower said...

"Either the government stays out of our personal lives or it doesn't, but we can't have it both ways as a society." - but it's already there - the government can't tell some people with a different sexual preference that they cannot get married and they cannot make it illegal just because they don't agree with or undertand the lifestyle.

Jules said...

Gay, straight, different skin color, short tall, big or little, 20 or 80 years old... can't we all just accept one another and get along? I mean, this is HONESTLY how I feel. Acceptance is KEY to living a happy and fullfilled life. To accept people into your life unconditionally makes living worthwhile. Take whatever it is that a person can bring to you and welcome it with open arms. They are offering you something, no matter what sexuality race or age they are. Take what they have to offer you and build on it. Don't toss it out the window and hope that God can "save them" someday. Just accept life as it presents itself. This is how I live my life. Thanks, Grunty, for providing us an opportunity to speak freely on the subject. HUGS

Anonymous said...

if prayer was the answer to everything, we'd all be rich, happy, beautiful muthahfuckahs.

But there's no answer to this. Is there even a question?

All I have to say is, "Don't judge!"

People, just be.

moderator said...

Sun, I think you're disagreeing with a different point than I made. No one made gay marriage illegal because it's never been legal - 'legal' is not a mayor somewhere saying it's legal, it's when it is actually law.

Marriage is not about love, it's about money and culture. Gay people are already allowed the money and the government can't regulate culture. The minute they do, it will get thrown out in court. I live in metro SF so I know lots of gay people and most of them are content with getting equal rights legally. Even here, in the most progressive/liberal state in the country with the most activist judiciary, gay marriage got thrown out. Not because California judges hate gay people, but because it's not a legal issue and shouldn't be. The courts got that one right. The last thing you want is the government addressing gay marriage and the courts allowing it ... because an activist judiciary or a state/federal government that can change every few years can also swing things the other way.

Ha ha ... governments that go both ways. Now that's an analogy I want to use in the future.

Gentleman-hobbs said...

love the slick background - makes it look like a porn site 10/10 old bean!

LindzyPinzy said...

very good post and it makes me sad to hear that a family would treat another member of the family this way. A few people I know have had some hard times with their families due to the fact that they are gay and its just too bad some of the stuff they had to deal with. I just don't get it. I completely agree with evey word you said in this post and I wish everybody was smart enough to realize the same thing. I realize it must be a tough thing to deal with, having a gay child and realizing thier life isn't going to be just as you 'imagined it to be' but you grieve and you move on and you support your child with whoever they are. And thier is no changing who they are. Thats so sad grunt.